Beginning Bondage

    

I can remember how intimidating getting into bondage was as a new sub. There came a time for me when a little rough play in bed just wasn’t cutting it anymore. It was time to step things up a little bit and I began working towards those fantasies that had been rolling around in my naughty little mind for a while. I wasn’t sure exactly where I wanted to start, and chances are if you are new into BDSM, you have the same confusion. No worries, though, there are a lot of really easy things to start off with, to help slowly step you up to a level that you are comfortable with.

Do your research! There are a lot of great Books About BDSM out there, and Jayme Dalton has a lot of blogs you can check out, like this one on How to Submit. Bone up (haha!) on the basics, maybe get a few ideas, and really think about your own personal fantasy. If you are feeling even friskier, grab an Instructional DVD or two. Knowing what can be expected can not only put your mind at ease when trying a new experience, it can give you more confidence if you know (more or less) what you are doing.

Find a partner that you feel safe and comfortable with, talk about what you both and want and expect, and think about what other supplies you might need to start exploring. Spontaneity is great, but when you start getting into bondage you will appreciate open discussion and planning ahead. The bare bones of BDSM is trust, and it is a lot easier to trust someone to tie you up when you have already told them what you do and don’t want. Even a sub in a good submissive/dominant relationship has control. Now for the fun stuff!

You can dress the part without going all-out in leather and chains. Sexy Corsets create wonderful body shapes and even just the tightness and slight restraint can start getting you in the mood. Another basic but sexy accessory you can add is a Blindfold. Not being able to see what is coming next is just…*sigh*. One of my personal must-haves is a Collar, because it really does scream ‘just take me’. You do not have to use it for leashing or anything at first, but just knowing that you have it on can really put you and your lucky mate into the right headspace to start the dominant/submissive relationship.

So, you have a good idea of what it is that you want to do, you have your sexy clothes and a partner to work with. Maybe you have watched a video (or two, or three) and you are ready to turn fantasy into reality. So, let’s start at the beginning. Light bondage is easy to work with, and good way to tiptoe towards the dungeon. BDSM does begin with the word bondage, ya know!

Light bondage? You might be thinking ropes and chains and handcuffs, oh my! Where to start? Soft Restraints and Cuffs are comfortable, and there is a huge variety to choose from. Pick out something that you think will be easy for you to use and fits your personal style. Basic restraints are a great building block, because they are really versatile and can help you begin to test your boundaries. I LOVE a nice, soft set of wrist restraints that can allow a lot of wiggling without putting strain on your wrists.

I’m tied up, now what? If you already know that you enjoy getting a nice slap on the fanny or generally rough sex, you might want to think about getting some beginner whips or toys to add to the mix. If you are not sure what level you want to take it to yet, start with some Softer Whips or Toys. (Silk rope whips feel amazing!) These softer toys can be used for anything from general sensation and tickling all the way up to a nice sting. Trying them out on yourself beforehand can give you a good idea of what they are capable of and what your pain threshold is.

Venturing into BDSM can seem like a step into a strange new world to someone that isn’t used to it, but remembering that sex is supposed to be fun and adventurous can help put your mind at ease. Trying your limits, testing out new things and ways to express your sexuality, and generally opening up your mind is a great way to keep sex exciting. So, take note of things you want to try, get a little gear, and most of all, welcome to what can be a very interesting way of life!