Experimenting & Kinkifying

    

The idea of a person, or their lover (depending on the particular mood of the evening *teehee*), taking control of the other during sexual play is a complete turn-on for so many people—starting with me! *g* Some biting, digging in with the nails, the enticing thwack of a love spanking—in the heat of passion, our inner desires are often let free, and this is often how those desires manifest physically. All of this stuff is the basic make-up of BDSM play, so if you’re a little bit interested (or you’re running your fingers over those teeth marks in your shoulder from last night…*wink*)it only gets hotter from here.

 
For any newbies to the terminology, BDSM is an acronym that stands for Bondage-Discipline, Dominance-Submission, Sadomasochism (or Sadism- Masochism). Bondage-Discipline refers to one partner tying up or retraining the other in some (not necessarily complex) way. It ranges from things like the pinning down of wrists during sexual play, to varying forms of Soft Bondage, to Steel Dungeon Gear used to lock your lover up tight (experienced kinksters often include getting elaborate with Chastity restraints—sometimes, the more strict the restrictions, the more hot and sexy the session becomes! ). Dominance-Submission has to do with a more psychological side of play: the exchange of power. A Dom(me)/Top/Master exerts control over the sub/bottom/slave. Sadomasochism is about the giving and receiving of erotic pain, the kind that drives people wild with lust. Who could say no to that, right? Not me! *g* All those parts of BDSM are interconnected and often lead from one to the other, or in some ways, are already linked with another part, like bondage and power exchange, for example.

Of course, in any BDSM situation, the sexual play should always be consensual between two lovers, both knowing the safety concerns associated with certain types of play (using Safewords, checking in with a gagged partner, that sort of thing). And part of safety is trust between Dom/me and sub. Don’t get hot and heavy into bondage and sadomasochism with a person you barely know or don’t trust, because it can lead to dangerous situations. BDSM is all about pleasure and fun, so play safe!

The best way to experiment with BDSM is to try out a lot of different things to see what works for you and your partner. For example, some people prefer Whips, some prefer Paddles, some keep both around depending on their mood! *g* I’d recommend starting slowly, not going with the super intense toys and bondage until you have some experience. Try a Blindfold before you use a Hood, and work up a Pain Tolerance with less strict toys (like Short, Soft Whips before Canes). You’ll get there if you want to get there, there is really no rush. Part of the fun is figuring it out. Check out the Bookstore for ideas for role play, sessions, and kinky activities! And definitely browse through all the different erotic toys, bondage gear so you get an idea of what’s out there. You wouldn’t want to miss out on adding some fun Vibrating Cock Rings or a sexy Hogtie just because you didn’t think of it!

 
In experimentation, another thing you’ll come across if who will be Master and who will be the slave. My best advice is to try both! I am all about switching because it provides the greatest variety of fun and sensations and can be adapted for pretty much any mood. Even if you’re more of a submissive person in your everyday life, and you’re usually the one with your hands pinned to the bed, there’s nothing like a suggestive Strap-On to send a sexy surge of power through your body and get you and your slave’s juices running hot! *g*

 
And part of kinkifying has to do with a sexy look. Whether you and your partner find Leather Fetish Outfits or Erotic Lingerie hot and stimulating, there are options for everyone. And if you have a certain BDSM role play session in mind, really get into the scene by adding a Costume (sexy schoolgirl anyone…? *g*) or a gorgeous Wig and see what a difference it can make!

Lots of people have thoroughly enjoyed the sensual pleasures of one form of BDSM or another without even realizing it. By understanding BDSM a little more, the options of play open up to endless possibilities for erotic fun! It’s easier to stumble on that perfect way to take your body to intensely arousing places if you’re in the right vicinity! *g*