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Guide To Submission
Guide to Submission: How to Submit to Your Lover
Guide
to Submission: How to Submit to Your Lover
I bet you’re here because
something inside of you turns
on when you think of being at the mercy of your lover. Being a
submissive (also known as a sub for all you beautiful
newcomers out there! Welcome!) puts you in a position of trust and
learning, in addition to immense pleasure. But, before you begin
fulfilling your sub fantasies, there are some important things to know
about the role of the submissive.
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Where to start?
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First of all, if
you’re thinking of engaging in bondage activities with your lover, I’m
assuming that there is a high level of trust in your relationship. If
for any reason, you are having difficulties with your desire for
submission because of a lack of trust in your partner, it’s probably
best to develop a stronger bond before experimenting with bondage.
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While maybe it seems like the
dom/me is in complete control, the sub has an equal amount of
responsibility and power. As a sub, it is crucial to communicate if
and when things become too intense or uncomfortable in any way.
Without this communication, the likelihood of someone becoming
physically or emotionally hurt increases. The goal is arousal and
pleasure, so let’s keep it that way!
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Make sure you
have a Safeword.
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A good sub will always let
their dom/me know what they like, as well as what they dislike. When
you’re in the heat of the moment, the last thing you want to do is to
break the mood. This is where a safe word comes in handy. Safe words
allow the sub to communicate when their limit has been reached, and
should be distinguishable from other words that the sub might scream
for other reasons. *g*
Especially for new subs, safe words will give you the opportunity to
try different things to see what you like and what you don’t like
without the risk of feeling trapped into doing something you don’t
want to do because it’s “too late” to say something. For some great
tips and advice about safe words, our resident sexologist shares her
thoughts here.
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Your limits are
the activities which you do not want to do, either because of choice
or necessity. As a sub, you should first establish what these limits
are with yourself, and then communicate them with your partner. Some
limits are steadfast and unchanging. This is known as a hard limit.
You will not do this thing under any circumstances. It could be
anything from wearing a hood to being turned upside down when tied up.
Every person has their unique preferences. Remember, the goal is
pleasure and arousal, so if something makes you feel too
uncomfortable, just don’t do it, simple as that.
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There are also things that you
don’t want to do at the moment, but you could be open to trying
another time, if you dom/me wants to convince you (a little persuasion can be
sexy…*g*). These are called soft limits. As a beginning sub, most
of your limits will probably be considered soft until you have tried
different things. Of course, if the thought of certain activities
makes you feel uneasy from the start, don’t be shy in voicing these
concerns. Communication is really important for successful bondage
experiences.
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One of the most
exciting parts of being a sub is that your dom/me (who you trust
completely) will have a certain amount of influence on your limits,
and may even challenge your soft limits from time to time. Usually
this allows for a greater amount of exploration with each other,
creating a stronger sexual bond which will keep your role of
submissive feeling authentic and erotically charged.
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There are many options for
methods and materials in being bound, and the possibilities of binding
are far reaching. Leather, steel, latex, straightjackets, gags,
blindfolds, ropes, body harnesses, hoods, hogties, the list goes on
and on, check out all these varieties and more in my large
Bondage section. There’s sure to be
something that sparks you in just the right way. *g* If
you’re a new sub, you might want to start with soft
bondage, and work your way up in intensity from there.
Soft bondage has its place even in the bedroom of a well-versed sub,
depending on mood and role-play activities chosen for certain
occasions. Maybe at first you might want to pick out bondage gear
together with your partner, but as a submissive, your desire for your
dom/me to take over and surprise you will likely change that in no
time. *g* So exciting!
Wondering what your dom/me has
in store for you turns you on just thinking about it? You’re a good sub already.
*wink*
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Cum see our entire line of Bondage Toys!
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