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How To Introduce Sex Toys

How to Introduce Sex Toys into a Relationship



How to Introduce Sex Toys into a Relationship

With relationships, especially new ones, there are lots of things to think about—what should I wear, when do I introduce my new partner to my friends, how should I introduce my favorite sex toys (that’s right, I have more than a few favorites!) into the relationship?  Overall, people like to think of themselves as open-minded and adventurous, but when it comes to introducing new things, well,  we all can get a little resistant from time to time, afraid to disrupt the balance of our lives.  And sex toys can be kind of a delicate subject. Many people think they are meant solely for masturbation, or they think if the sex is already good, there should be no reason to use toys. Reactions like these are not totally uncommon, so it’s best to be aware of the possibility of a negative response. That said, there are ways to ease the introduction of sex toys so that everything goes smoothly.

 

Start slow. This is really important, so I’ll say it again. Start slow. It will be worth the wait! If you’re too animated about it at the beginning, your partner might get a little freaked out, thinking the toy is more important to the sex than they are. If you’re in a new relationship, don’t worry about toys until you’ve had a healthy amount of great bedroom sessions just the two of you, sans toys. It’s likely that your partner will be turned on by the idea of broadening the sexual experience with some enhancements (or at least it will spark some interest) but you can’t be sure. Also, no matter how much you’re dying to bust out the double dong, you’re likely to scare them away if they haven’t used sex toys before, let alone with a partner. Try something more basic like the 6376P My First Wabbit to start off. You can always integrate others later on.  Soon enough, it could be your partner asking to kick up the intensity with something like this vibrating strap on set.

 

How to bring it up? I recommend asking point blank. If you’re in a comfortable relationship with someone, it should not be a problem to talk openly about your desires. Ask if they’ve ever used toys before, or what they think about that idea. Creating an environment of sexual openness through the conversation will help to ensure that the bedroom environment is always just as at ease. It might also be a good idea to bring along literature on the subject, so your partner can get a greater sense of things, something like this book about strap-on sex (and planting some sexy ideas early on is never a bad idea *g*). Keep in mind that you should bring up the subject at an appropriate time. If either one of you is stressed, especially regarding the relationship, it might be best to wait until things have gotten back to normal. Also, rather than first thing in the morning, or before work, find a time when you’ll both be able to give the subject the attention and time it deserves, together.

Keep the Conversation Going. Just because your partner agreed initially to use toys, their comfort level during the actual practice of using them might be less than they thought.  Don’t be afraid to talk all through the experience. Make sure your lover feels good both physically and mentally. Chances are, the sound of your voice—the way you’ll be talking will of course be highly sexual—and will heighten their arousal.

 

How to Handle Resistance? If your lover seems truly against using toys from the start, it will be better if you’ve familiarized yourself with some common attitudes about sex toys.  Many partners automatically think that the use of a sex toy is saying something about their ability to please you. Or they think that if the sex is great already, why fix something that isn’t broken? Just answer these concerns with the truth! Sex toys are fun, and the reason to use them is only for variety and pleasure—for everyone involved!  If they still seem uninterested, perhaps you could reach an agreement through compromise. Try it out slowly, and if your partner still isn’t enjoying it, this might be the time to agree to disagree. You can still use your toys for masturbation. Either way, it’s best to talk it through, keeping an open and honest line of communication.

 

Getting Started. Begin the experience right. Pick out your first toy (for use as a couple) together. This makes it fun before the real fun even gets started. Remember to keep an open mind and be flexible. (I know what you’re thinking, but I didn’t mean physically flexible! *g* I guess we all have dirty minds!) If you’ve tried the first toy and it turns out this one wasn’t right for you, there are plenty more where that came from. With so many options, there are bound to be lots that will suit both of your desires…

 

Suggestions. Here are some great toys for starting out. The 7362E Aphrodite Infrared Rechargeable Magic Wand is great because multi-purpose. You can ease in with some muscle relaxation, then move on to more erogenous areas. Glass toys are great to start with as well, because they’re often beautiful to look at, thus more attractive to a newcomer. Try the 9338P Icicles Mind Blow-Her Hand Blown Glass Massager. 

 

There are even toys that are made specifically for beginners, like the 8349P First Timers Strap-On Set, which has an easily adjustable harness. And straight couples, don’t pass up the 7392P Triple Action Wireless Cockring. This will give immense pleasure to both of you, pulsing on him as he wears it and then you feel it too when he pushes inside you. It will really demonstrate that many toys are meant for couples. And, I almost forgot to mention lube. Sex toys don’t have the natural lubrication that people have, so always use lube! Water-based lubes (like this one) are always safe to use with your toys.

Hope this helps. Or maybe you won’t even need any of this information because your partner has been dying to bring it up to you! Couldn’t we all be that lucky?