Meet Brian

Please tell us a little bit about yourself – How would you be describe your everyday vanilla life?

I'm a programmer, so most of my day is spent behind a keyboard. It gets pretty old sometimes, but the challenge of the puzzle's keep me ticking. I'm a father of four and have a beautiful wife that keeps me going! Raising kids was easy... teenagers, please help me!!! We're the normal couple that holds hands as we walk through the stores, bring our children out for dinner and love family time! We are the typical family that runs from band practice for some kids, to choir for the others! We love to be outdoors and travel. I work at home out of a home office while she keeps me sane! I think it's a fair trade.

When did you first realize you were into bondage?

About when I was 16ish, in a gamer magazine, there was an ad where a guy was chained to the floor with an old TV set in front of him and a controller. Behind him was a tall woman in leather with a single tail. After seeing that image, I had to know more about this lifestyle. After hours of searching, I finally learned about all the different things that went into the scene. Some things scared me, others, intrigued me more. After that, there was no turning back!

How you best describe yourself and why? Your choices are: Dominant, Submissive, Switch or Fuzzy Rainbow Unicorn.

Both my wife and I are switches, and we're true switches. There are aspects of both roles that we enjoy, though lately, I think she's becoming more and more dominant.

Do you feel that your desire for bondage is more physical or emotional? (please elaborate)

I had to mention my wife for a good reason. There are several different aspects that people enjoy in this space. The worst part about it is how some people will judge and call it a taboo. In my case, when I’m in a submissive role, it's about being forced to do something I don't want to, so 100% a mental aspect for me. Something about having my wife give me two choices, and neither I "want"; so I "have" to take the lesser of two evils. That normally is influenced by a physical choice, but the choice I make, in either case, will cause a mental response that I crave. That choice is what brings me to new levels in the end. The choice of choosing to do something so that there is no more physical punishment is the "high". Sometimes this can be things like putting something I don't want vs. clamps, or 1 setting higher on the electricity with no orgasm for a longer period. Or something like "1 setting now and you have to wait to finish" vs. "3 settings now and I'll let you finish". The best part is she gets, if I don't choose, she'll pick something worse than either. My wife understands in my case, everything is mental.

Here's where it flips though. For my wife, it's about the punishment and the physical sensations she gets. Her favorite thing is to be tied up in a rope dress, or to be confined to the bed. She loves the feeling of being restricted. Her favorite thing though is binding her breasts. The tighter the better. She loves the feeling and sensations she gets and how sensitive she becomes.

Sorry for the long winded answer, but I'd have to say it's "both" and will vary by the person!

Were lovers accepting of your interest in bondage?

My first marriage, nope! I felt like I had to hide that entire aspect of my life. This was something that I greatly enjoyed and I had to keep it completely quiet! I knew that this was something I couldn't keep locked up. When I started dating again, I wanted to make sure this was an aspect of my life that I could share. More importantly, I was tired of keeping aspects of my life hidden because I was fearful of the reactions. Once I met my future wife, I found out that she was never introduced to this world, even though she was quite sexually active. She was scared to begin with because she started researching. Naturally the first things you find when you start looking into this world are images of women being beaten. I had to really inform her that pictures and movies have painted a nasty target on this world. After I explained about how much trust goes into it, and the feelings you get of letting go, she decided to take her first plunge into being a sub. She loved it! Quickly though, she became more and more interested in what a dom does. In her life, she's a normal stay at home mom, taking care of the kids, driving them to school and just watching out for everyone else. She found this world allowed her to take control and to release those feelings. Being a dom for her now is about taking control and doing what she wants. She's now embraced bondage and loves it as much as I do. I think she loves that during the day to day, I run the house and it's her chance to rebel and take that control! (gotta love "switch"es!). Our foreplay is now an all out battle for who gets to be on top! It always keeps it incredibly fun, and we both try new devious ways to win. Last time, she waited for me to get out of the shower, ran and tackled me on the bed and then pinned me as she put the steel cuffs on. It's also become a "betting" game for us. Every couple has those "bets" where they say " I know xyz was in movie abc" or something... Well now we bet "days" on how "right" we are. Lets say I've ended up in a chastity device for a few days before, while I'll make her wear some sexy latex outfit all day around the house. What can I say! gotta have fun!

Please briefly describe your first bondage experience.

I kind of recreated that ad, I was alone, made a collar out of a belt and pretended I was stuck doing something I didn't want (at that time, forced to have sex with a female slave by a female dom). I actually found that while playing out this mental picture in my head, I tried to fight the orgasm, which lead to me having one of the powerful ones I had ever experienced. That's what sealed the deal for me. Been riding the wave ever since!

What was your best bondage experience?

Honestly this one is harder for me to answer. As with most good bondage relationships, they grow every time. My wife and I always at the end of our sessions will ask, "What did you like? What didn't you like? What do you want to have happen again?" This means every new session is typically better than the last and I always look forward to the next. There are occasionally sessions that don't go well (mainly when trying new things)

What is the most creative safeword you have ever used?

Holy S@#$ that hurts! F@#$ Make it stop!! LOL PLEASE IT HURTS! Naturally this means I forgot the safe word so I just started saying "safe word". Easy to remember!

What is your favorite gear, toy or lingerie item from sub-shop.com and why?

I love the posture collars the most. My wife loves all of the chastity devices. All time fav though would have to be one of the first things I purchased, a very simple set of clover clamps.

What is the one sensual fantasy you haven’t lived out yet that you are excited to try?

The fantasy I mentioned from my first thoughts. My wife and I have talked about going to a session with a dom, where my wife will play the other captive sub and I'm "forced" to have sex with her (teehee)!

What’s your favorite knock-knock joke?

knock knock, who's there, banana, banana who? knock knock, who's there, banana, banana who? knock knock, who's there, banana, banana who? knock knock, who's there, orange!, orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

What is Eskimo ice?

No Clue!