Meet Joe & Carla

Please tell us a little bit about yourself – How would you be describe your everyday vanilla life?

Joe & Carla: We are both nerds to the n-th degree. When we aren't working at our nerd based computer jobs, we are playing video games or re-watching Marvel/Disney movies. We have quiet suburban lives with a matching set of cats, bikes, cars and trendy neighborhood restaurants.

When did you first realize you were into bondage?

Joe: For me it was when we got rid of our dial-up modem and got Cable internet.

Carla: I don't know if I can point to an exact moment; I think the potential has always been there. I can point to the first time I ever shared this interest with someone else. I became good friends with someone in college based on her introduction being, "Hey, do you want to watch Blade: Trinty later? It has Ryan Reynolds chained to a floor." Well color me intrigued.

How you best describe yourself and why? Your choices are: Dominant, Submissive, Switch or Fuzzy Rainbow Unicorn.

Joe: I was originally a Dominant, but as time passed I became more of a switch. Being a switch expands the horizons of what I can feel and allows me to also show her how amazingly wonderful she can feel too. It also helps to keep things interesting by changing up roles, we can see what each other is thinking, planning and scheming. We can then each apply them to the next time our roles are reversed.

Carla: Also a Switch. For a while I felt much more strongly submissive, but after experimenting with a more dominant role I grew to enjoy it more than I expected. When I look at it now it seems too limiting to always be in one role.

Do you feel that your desire for bondage is more physical or emotional? (please elaborate)

Joe: The desire for bondage to me is very emotionally driven. It's about trust, while being restrained and feeling the pleasure of the pressure is invigorating nothing compares to trusting your partner to protect them, to give them the pleasure they desire, and most importantly the actualization of how you feel. Being in either a dominant or submissive role, to me, is about opening up yourself to another.

Carla: It's more emotional for me as well. It's 100% trust based. The experience cannot be enjoyed without that. I wouldn't be interested in having the honest and open conversations needed to share interests, establish boundaries and discuss what is and is not working without a strong emotional connection.

Were lovers accepting of your interest in bondage?

Joe: My wife is the only other I have shared this with, and was she accepting? I would say very much so.

Carla: I have also only shared this experience with Joe. He has been beyond accepting - patient, open to new experiences and always eager to try new things. I discover so much through him.

Please briefly describe your first bondage experience.

Joe: The first real experience for me was with my wife then fiancé. She had hinted, in her mind very subtle (but not subtle at all), that she wanted to be restrained. So I grabbed a 'rope', actually a belt from my robe and tied her hands up with it. Afterwards, in my head all I heard was the Final Fantasy Victory Fanfare music, again I am a nerd, confirming that she was the girl of my dreams. That night, after she fell asleep, I went online and started purchasing more appropriate gear, as to not damage my robe any further.

Carla: That was my first experience as well. I didn't realize I was hinting at anything, but then again I am a very oblivious person. At the time I was much less confident in initiating and asking for things. So much has changed since that first experience as we started communicating more about our kinky desires and interests. It was the start of a new world for us together.

What was your best bondage experience?

Joe: Being able to tie a woman to a four-poster bed on a remote Caribbean island is just wonderful. Not to mention getting through security with a set of restraints, blindfold, gag, and toys without getting questioned by security added a certain level of kinky-naughty to the experience.

Carla: I came home one day to a brand new sex swing assembled in the living room. I wasn't in great shape at the time and it was more physical work than I expected, but it was very exciting to be introduced to something so substantial and new so suddenly. Once later I tried to put it together by myself, and after failing horribly I appreciate even more how much work went into that surprise.

What is the most creative safeword you have ever used?

Joe: A coworker's name was to be used if work was too hectic and was going to go late, and I needed to opt out early of our session before she returned home. This particular coworker causes nothing but pain, grief, and a lot of broken code in the system. In retrospect, will never use this again as using his name is giving him too much power, like Voldemort.

Carla: Which really makes it a great safe word, right? Harry Potter wasn't afraid to say Voldemort, and look where that took him.

What is your favorite gear, toy or lingerie item from sub-shop.com and why?

Joe: For me, the best item is the Double Mouth Guard Gag. She's a screamer that one.

Carla: The Deluxe Full Length Armbinder Mittens are my favorite. I try to move a lot when I'm tied up, and these are the best for keeping my arms in place and behind my back when I'm lying down.

What is the one sensual fantasy you haven’t lived out yet that you are excited to try?

Joe: I really want to get better at Shibari. Especially with suspension. I have done a few things involving rope, but it doesn't look pretty. I have picked up a few books, and watched some videos. I can make a few simple harnesses pretty quickly, but the advanced ones elude me. Each time I make anything advanced, it looks like a tangled Christmas tree light set. I guess each time we are done, it is like Christmas.

Carla: Mine is definitely suspension bondage. Excited to try it, but there is a lot to learn before we can do this confidently and safely. It's good to have goals!

What’s your favorite knock-knock joke?

Joe: "I know the best knock-knock joke, but you have to start."

You: "Okay, knock-knock"

Joe: "Who's there?"

You: "... "

Carla: "Knock knock."

You: "Who's there?"

Carla: "9/11"

You: "9/11 who?"

Carla: "You said you'd never forget!"

What is Eskimo ice?

Joe: I would say a level 1 spell.

Carla: Is it like Italian ice? Because Italian ice is delicious. Swedish fish with vanilla custard...mmm...