Turn Your Manly Man into Your Fantasy Submissive

    

Alright, ladies, today I’ve got a hot topic for you. Here’s the deal. You’ve got a little fantasy about dominating your guy, but you’re not sure how he’s going to react. Instead of surprising him with the new state-of-the-art Strap-On you’ve been eyeing, I’d suggest trying a few of my tried and true techniques to turn your boring boyfriend into a super sexy sub! If you’ve never expressed any interest in dominating him, your guy may need a little bit of nudging to get him into your fantasy. The good news is that men love a woman who can be aggressive in the bedroom, even if it is only occasional.

 
In order to gauge his interest, I’d suggest seeing how he reacts to some playfully dominant moves. Maybe try holding his wrists down by his sides so he can’t touch you next time you’re pleasuring him orally, or even just tell him to lay back quietly while you decide what’s on the menu for the evening’s romp! Even if the specific activities you suggest aren’t particularly naughty, his reaction to giving up control to you can tell you a lot about his willingness to explore your dominatrix fantasies.

If he doesn’t respond enthusiastically to your playful aggressiveness, it’s not a bad idea to try whispering your bad girl fantasies into his ear. Hearing how much they turn you on may get him just curious enough to try it! If he sounds gung-ho about it, then it’s time to talk about the things you’re both interested in trying. I’m sure you’ve already taken a look through my Fetish Checklist, so why not try looking at that together? After going through that, you can talk about how far you would like to go in the categories that you’ve both expressed interest in. Most of the categories are pretty clear, but it never hurts to be sure. For example, if you both think that spanking sounds fun, you need to make sure that you both have the same thing in mind. If you’re considering a few light smacks with your hand and he’s picturing a good whack or two with a Leather Paddle, you’ve got some talking to do!

Remember, both of you need to be completely comfortable with your shared experience, whether you’re only looking to do this occasionally, or if you want to make it an ongoing lifestyle choice. The number one most important thing you need for good Bondage and Domination play is trust. Both partners always need to feel safe, secure and comfortable in whichever role they choose to play.

That brings me to another topic. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you NEED a safeword! Unless he’s got a ball gag in his mouth, in which case a safe-gesture is a good idea too. A safeword should be something you’re never going to say otherwise in sex so you don’t miss it. ‘Purple monkey!’ or ‘Orlando Bloom!’ come to mind. For a safe gesture, perhaps try a peace-sign on an unrestrained hand. Either way, make sure you’ll be able to detect your sub’s need to stop. It’s a little hard to see him frantically waving his peace sign if you’ve decided to Hog Tie him! For more about SafeWords, check out my Safewords article.

 
Once you’re sure that you’ve determined each other’s general boundaries and established a safeword, it may be time to talk toys and accessories. When considering what types of bondage gear to use, try to take into consideration the fact that your manly man might not be ready to try the Gates of Hell yet (as fun as they can be!). That’s one reason why I’ve got a section of bondage gear called Beginner and Soft Bondage. The first few times you try dominating your new sub, I’d recommend something playful that only restrains him because he’s willing to accept your domination. My Soft Bondage Cuffs can give him the physical sensation of being restrained without scaring him away the first time you engage in domination play.

 
Overall, just remember that when training a new male submissive, you must push boundaries slowly, working up to different levels of restraint, pain and domination. There’s certainly nothing wrong with surprising your sub with new and more serious toys, but make sure to test your limits together, and be understanding if your sub isn’t ready to try something (yet!). Exploring your dominatrix fantasies is exciting and sexy, so throw on some Lingerie that makes you feel sexy and powerful and get cracking that whip!