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April 15, 2014

How to Dominate a Man — Insider Tips and Tricks: A 101 Session

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard a man say "I love a confident woman". Well, confidence is a great place to start when considering how to dominate your man in the bedroom. Men drool over a woman who knows what she wants and goes right ahead and takes it. Taking control of a man in the bedroom doesn’t have to be about S&M, but it sure does turn the heat up a lot higher (ohhh, I’m already thinking of the sexy burn of the Assume the Position Paddle to start the evening off right, but I’m getting a little ahead of myself). And we all know, almost every guy has a dominatrix fantasy he’s been thinking about since his hormones kicked in. It’s time to take over in the bedroom and give him what he’s been waiting for.

In many relationships, men are usually the ones initiating sex. If you want to dominate your man, you’ll definitely have to be the one doing the initiating. It’s important to set the right mood for the rest of the night, so put on a hot little number, like the Dominatrix Buckling Catsuit. I like this one because it has a full zip-through — and it has naughty written all over it! Start by somehow letting him know you’re in charge. You’ll be telling him what to do.

My favorite way to get this going is to whisper a command into his ear. The first one is easy: take your clothes off. Where you go from there is up to you. You could simply hold his wrists down while you climb on top of him. If you’re new to Domme-hood, it might be best to keep it simple the first time or two, without props or toys. Believe me, the role-reversal itself will provide plenty of excitement and arousal. There are lots of things women can do to a man with our hands and mouths alone that are worth exploring, especially in a dominating role.

After some experience, you can always take it up a notch. Cuff his wrists together behind his back (the Double-Locking Handcuffs are perfect). Once you have him cuffed, you will have ultimate control, so don’t be afraid to use it. You want him to run his tongue slowly over your clitoris, tell him to do it. Tell him exactly how and where you want him to move his tongue. An added perk of this type of play is that it will clue your man into your true sexual desires (and with enough specificity, you can get him doing it just right) without damaging his ego, as it might in a more casual sexual experience.

Also, don’t forget to use your power to do what you want to him. I’m sure he’d like to feel your mouth wrapped around his penis. But while you’re doing it, don’t let him speak. If he tries to utter words, tell him to be quiet, put your fingers over his lips. This will be a constant reminder that you are the one in charge. He can’t protest, and he can’t make requests. If he starts to misbehave, you can always bring out that paddle I mentioned earlier, or maybe you prefer to use a whip. (Try the Domme’s Best Friend Braided Rhinestone Handle Whip — this one has a lot of variety to it!)

With his hands bound together, you’ll have to be on top during sex. Perfect! You’ll be the one guiding and controlling exactly how fast or slow you go. Men, the visual creatures that they are, are usually driven wild when the woman is one top, as it gives them full view of your body as you ride them. And being on top requires confidence, because it shows how comfortable you are with your body-you don’t mind him looking at you. That kind of confidence will drive him wild. Plus, I bet he’ll be paying attention to the way you’re doing it, so that the next time he’s on top, he’ll have more insight on how to please you the way you like it most.

You’ll probably be pleasantly surprised by how comfortable you feel in the dominating role. I don’t know about you, but I love the idea of all his attention on me. If your guy is up for some Dominatrix-style sex (of course, he’s up for it, he’s been dreaming about it since he met you), his eyes will be on you for every second… well, unless you blindfold him. *Wink*

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Autumn LeFleur
Autumn LeFleur