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April 15, 2014



Dominating a Woman: A 101 Session

No one knows you better than you know yourself, right? I can’t speak for all women, per se, but there are things about us that tend to run along the same lines-for instance, location of the G-Spot and erogenous zones. Of course, every person has their own particular ways they like to be touched, or spanked, or bound, but I’ve been with more than a few women, so you know I’m not just speaking from a singular perspective-though, it certainly doesn’t hurt that I have enjoyed the experience of fully exploring myself (I mean, it didn’t hurt in the wrong ways, heehee).

I know what you’re thinking, you want me to spill some secrets. First of all, I’ll remind you of something you may already know: seduction is a game in which power dynamics have already been in play. We can’t be seduced without flipping an internal switch, allowing another person to pleasantly work their way under our skin, and into our pants. It involves giving up control. I also want to remind you that you know better than I do how your woman likes her sex. If she isn’t into S&M, then my ideas of dominating a woman are probably not going to be right for her. Of course, of course, of course, this is something that should always be pre-established.

So you want to dominate your woman? Where do you start? Hmm… How about this…

She’s walking into the bedroom, you’re ready for her. You grab her by the wrist with a sly smile on your face (so she doesn’t misinterpret your aggression) and slam the door. Slamming the door, your hand gripped around her arm-this should be a clear signal of the atmosphere you’re after. Make sure you have some different accessories picked out for the occasion ahead of time, and have them ready to go so there is no delay in action. Get my drift? If you’re in charge, you need to show it. You’re prepared. You know what you want and you’re going to get it. But she still has her clothes on, and you need to get her out of them before certain (perhaps essential) toys can be brought into play because they would be nearly impossible to remove later on. Of course, if your partner doesn’t mind her clothes being literally ripped from her body, then don’t exclude the possibility of immediately getting your girl bound tightly from the start. I’m saying this from experience-in the right circumstances, don’t pass this up. I will never forget my own clothes torn to shreds right off me, after being teased for nearly an hour (think Fantasy 4 Rabbit torturing me through my clothes, watching my Domme, fully naked and sooo hot, spending time with it on herself while I am helplessly watching, begging…).

Anyway, where were we? Oh yeah, so back to getting naked. Unless she doesn’t mind you destroying her clothes, get her out of them right away, and let her know you mean business. Use a nice prop, like the Bad Cop Baton to direct her motion. That’s right, press it hard against her back when you tell her to bend over nice and slow when slipping those panties over her ankles.

Now you’ve got her how you want her. Make sure you have some other supplies ready- no fumbling through drawers or closets while the room is just heating up. I like to use the Adjustable Dungeon Spreader Locking Cuff Set on her ankles. This is one of my favorites because the heavy steel is so sturdy, I feel all that control running through my blood when I lock her in. It’s so invigorating. Plus, this one is adjustable, so I can make the decision at the last moment about how far I want her legs spread apart (ohhh, how I love the easy access that a spreader gives). On her wrists, try the Double Buckle Cuffs with Clips for that same impossible-to-escape control of the steel spreader. I’m kind of a severe dominatrix, if you can’t tell…

From here on out, you have all the power, with which you can take in many different directions. Think about bringing out a soft rope whip to slowly entice her. Tease her with a dildo (men, this goes for you too, if you’re up for it. Lots of women love the way it looks to watch a dildo slide between the lips of their lover…). Suck on it so it’s nice and wet, then rub it softly at the base of her thighs, just close enough to where she wants it but not quite there. That will really make her beg and scream. And don’t forget about the power of your own body. The sensual buzz of skin on skin (or tongue on skin) is irreplaceable. Try licking her ever so gently, starting at the bottom of her vagina and working your way up. Use the tip of your tongue, and let her feel your hot breath as you’re doing it. I promise that next time she’ll be pleading for you to dominate her all over again. Of course, don’t forget to take a turn being dominated by her. Submission is fun, too. (*giggles*)

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Autumn LeFleur
Autumn LeFleur

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