Master's Note about Men
Everything you've read about men in women's magazines is bullshit. (And most of what you've read in them just in general, from what I understand.) Now that I've got your attention...
Autumn has shared with me some of the gems of wisdom and advice she has read in various women's magazines over the years. Wow – what a load of crap. Well, I'm here to try to get a little mileage out of my otherwise useless psych degree by setting some of this stuff straight. (Much to the relief of both the men and the ladies, I hope.)
First, there is no, "What he really means when he says _____." We say what we mean. There's no great mystery to men. We like women and we like toys. When you ask, "what are you thinking," chances are that it's nothing much about anything. Really. If we're working on something, that's what we're thinking about. If we're not, it's usually just downtime. Sports, work, the yard, you (not necessarily in that order - these things just kind of float around in there). Don't worry - we think about you a lot. Really. We're not very good at "sharing", though, so you'll have to trust me on this. Men are not socialized to "share" their feelings. We think about what's directly in front of us. Except, of course, that most guys are always thinking about sex in some far reaches of their mind at all times. It just presents itself more strongly at some times than others. So, what are we thinking about? Whatever it is we're doing and/or sex. Typically nothing too deep here. Easy enough.
Second, you don't have to look like an underwear model to be sexy. Don't worry about the “85 ways to a sexier you” or “15,985 ways to tone your butt” and so on. Every month they come up with a new problem you never knew you had. But don't worry – they'll tell you how to fix it in upcoming issues. Isn't that sweet of them? (A more cynical person might say they were just preying on your insecurities to sell their rag magazine, but not me. I believe that they're genuinely good people who really care about you.)
Be yourself, be confident in your body, and let him see you. (Autumn tells me a certain magazine says never to let your man see you completely naked or he'll lose interest in you. Good Lord...) Don't be shy and cover up. It makes a guy think you really don't want to be intimate – or be with him at all, in some cases. Let him know you enjoy life, sex, being with him, etc. (He may need to be reminded that this is what you want too! *g*) That's what's sexy. Don't be afraid to feel and be sexy. Guys love that. Be sexual. Guys really love that. Of course, I can't speak for all guys, just 98 to 99% of them. *g* If you have a mole or a stretch mark that you're worried about or you think you're not shaped just right, it's going to make you self conscious and you'll be worried and inhibited. Don't worry about it – let go, share fantasies, enjoy yourself and he'll think you're the sexiest woman on the planet (and he's right), which will make you feel like the sexiest woman on the planet (and you're right). See where this is going? (Don't forget – you're hot and he thinks so too.)
Last, I just wanted to pass on a little tip for great sex – tell him what you want. Don't expect that he knows each and every part of you or your most intimate desire or your favorite place to be kissed. Let him know. If you're not having great sex, that's just as much your fault as his, if not more so. (And this goes for you too, guys!) He's not a mind reader, so let him know what you want so you'll get it. Sharing fantasies can be great fun and could lead right into fulfillment of the fantasy itself. Afraid of embarrassing yourself? Why be afraid? If he doesn't like your fantasies, do you really want to be with him for all the boring sex he'll provide anyways? Think of it as a weeding out process. *g* Like something he doesn't? Don't push it, it may just not be something he's ready for right now. Try again later, but don't pester. For example, Autumn liked bondage when we first met, but the leather restraints scared her. Now look… *g* If you do something you really like, let him know you really like it! He'll have a great time knowing he can do that to you/for you and make you feel that way. Don't be afraid to trade off, either. Fair is fair. He does something you like, you do something he likes. Everybody's a winner!
There's so much more, but you'll have to do a little research. If you want to know about guys, buy a guy's magazine like Maxim, Stuff, or a similar male oriented publication – even Playboy or Penthouse. Ladies, this is a great way to learn more about the "intricacies" of the male mind.
Women's magazines contain all sorts of BS that's only good for feeding neurosis that those women who write the articles have and want to share with you. If they're screwed in the head, then you must be too because it can't just be them, right? It's no fun being fucked up by yourself. They share nice. But you don't have to have what they're having. Happiness and contentment is available for the taking. Just get out there and know that you deserve it.
There... I hope everybody feels a little more enlightened and a little less stressed. *g*
Now go get 'em, you hot babe!
