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Tie Me Up: Restraints and Harnesses

Once you’ve established a level of trust with your lover and are ready to introduce another delicious experience to your sex play, it’s time to try being restrained. You don’t have to do anything drastic right away. Allow your Dom to gently ease you into the titillating world of restraints and harnesses. The idea of being “restrained” can take many forms, from a loosely wrapped necktie to chains and handcuffs. In other words, it can be a mostly symbolic gesture that allows you to easily free yourself quickly—or a more intense situation in which you are unable to escape on your own.

Many people find bondage exciting, for a variety of reasons. Just the physical feeling of being restrained or held back from touching their lovers or themselves can often be stimulating. Giving over total control or having it (depending on which role you take) is also sexually thrilling and can deepen the sensual bond with your partner.

Neckties and Plastic Ties

When it comes to restraints, neckties are probably one of the most popular choices. For one thing, they are easily accessible— they can be found in almost every man’s closet. And if you are in the process of getting undressed, you or your partner may be shedding a tie at that moment. Ties seem innocent—you can buy them at your favorite department store without any fear of embarrassment. Likewise, you don’t need to hide them if someone shows up at your home expectedly.

Ropes

Rope is considered a traditional piece of bondage equipment. It can be used by itself to tie someone up, but is also used as part of more complicated suspension or restraint setups. You can experiment with different types of rope materials to see which ones you and your partner prefer.

If you use ropes, be careful and alert to the possibility of rope burns, which can be painful and may be obvious for a while after the rope is removed.

Soft Cuffs and Metal Handcuffs

 

Cuffs are a common item in adult playrooms and bondage setups, and are often attached to parts of the bed or used as part of a suspension or restraint system. The use of cuffs can be especially exciting when combined with other forms of sexy play, such as blindfolds and spanking. Cuffs may be made from a variety of materials, including fur or leather. They may also be made from metal.

 

Many people find the idea of handcuffs exciting as part of a fantasy, although some are nervous about taking that step in reality. You will probably be using handcuffs made of a soft material that are specifically designed for fun, as opposed to the type law enforcement officials slap on criminals. There should be a way for the submissive person to release himself if he wants to.

Spreader Bars and X-Crosses

A spreader bar is a piece of equipment that consists of a metal or wooden bar with cuffs that attach to a person’s hands and/or feet. The spreader bar may also have a hanging apparatus so that it can be suspended or affixed to a wall or ceiling. Spreader bars are often used as part of a suspension grid, discussed later.

As you can probably guess from the name, a spreader bar spreads the arms or legs apart. The spreader bar can also be used to keep someone in a spread-eagle position, or just to keep hands and/or feet from moving. The bar prevents the submissive from instinctively tensing up or clenching and closing the legs. It can also secure a person’s hands and feet behind the back.

Spreader bars are usually adjustable, so you can change the distance between the hands/legs to whatever is comfortable or exciting for you. The bars usually include cuffs and have places to attach other types of bondage equipment. When used to secure both the hands and feet, spreader bars can render a person totally submissive.

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