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7 Signs You Need to Define Your Relationship

There was once a time when you defined your relationship status in one of three ways. You were single, dating or married. There was no in between and there certainly was no uncertainty. If you were with someone, you knew it. Oh how much simpler life seemed back then. 

Nowadays it's hard to know exactly where your relationship stands, or even if you are in one to begin with. Listen to people describe their status and you will hear things such as : 

"I'm talking to this guy." 

"Yea I've been chilling with a girl I met a few months ago."

 "I'm hanging out with him this weekend."

 "We're just seeing how it goes."

 "It's just casual" 

"It's just a thing."

 and my very favorite-

 "It's complicated." 

I'm not sure if it's a desire to remain unattached or a fear of what could happen, but people tend to not define their relationships lately. It's easier to play it by ear, leave it untitled and just see what happens. 

The problem is that you never quite know where you stand. It leaves you unsure of how to handle even the most ordinary and mundane situations. No, a title doesn't change the relationship or what lies as the foundation you are building on. But sometimes that title lets you know how to handle simple things. It also helps you to keep your expectations realistic. 

Everyone starts off gradually. At least they should. But eventually there's a time when you have to define what is going on. Are you there? There are a few clear cut signs that it's time to talk to your not quite other half and decide just where things stand. 

  1. You are turning down dates
    Let's face it. WHen you are into a guy, you will reject others. But is he doing the
    same? When you have a casual thing with someone, it's unclear as to whether 
    you are supposed to be dating other people. When you start to realize that you
    are turning down guys that you would otherwise accept a date with, you might
    want to make sure that you are actually in a relationship with the guy. Unless you
    have a goal to own a bunch of cats one day. 
  1. He practically moved in
    Do you find that it's tempting to charge him rent every month? Is he at your house
    more than his own? Do you currently have possession of personal items that are
    his? The reality is that if there are enough things in your place to make it hard to
    convince potential suitors that you are single, it might be time to find out if you are. 
  1. Friends and family are trying to fix either of you up
    Nothing sucks quite as badly as that moment when people close to your 'friend'
    start trying to fix him up with girls they met and you are thinking that he's into you.
    Even if he turns them down, the reality doesn't leave. They do not consider you
    a serious part of his life. If you do, then it's time to make sure you are. 
  1. You aren't sure how to introduce him
    If you ran into a coworker while out, how would you introduce him? If you find that
    more often than not you stutter a bit when trying to introduce your man, then you
    should find out how he views things. Nothing says we are having non-committed
    sex quite like taking a pause before the word friend when making introductions. 
  1. You haven't met the people he's close to
    If you know about who he's with when he's not with you, but he hasn't had you
    around them then it's possible that you are taking things more seriously than he
    Knowing of his friends, parents and colleagues is a big stretch from having
    been around them and they know who you are. 
  1. You're not sure you are the only one he's seeing or sleeping with
    Once you are having an intimate relationship with anyone, it's time to define the
    boundaries of that. Even friends with benefits should establish whether or not the
    'friend' has other 'friends'. If you think in terms of the fact that you are essentially
    sleeping with everyone he's sleeping with, don't you think it's important to know
    if there are others?
  1. You think about it more than you should
    We have gut instincts for a reason. If something is playing heavy on your mind,
    it's a pretty good sign it is important to you. When you realize that as he's kissing
    you, your mind is wondering what he thinks of you; it's time to find out.