Anal sex continues to be one of the top fantasies men have and want to try with their partners. And not just men, plenty of women would also love to try it at least once (or more than once wink*!). When done right it can be a very sensual experience and a very orgasming moment for a couple, so its easy to see why they love it. But just as many sexual acts, there can be some reservations about it. So I’m going to address some of the most common concerns that arise when a couple or someone wants to try it for you to get on the anal bandwagon as soon as possible.
The most common concern and the number 1 reason some women may be reluctant to try it is “this will hurt”. But the reality is, like most acts involved with sex, this shouldn’t hurt. At first it may feel a bit uncomfortable while your body gets used to, but once its adjusted it should be good. What’s more, a lot of women actually achieve orgasm just through anal stimulation, so you will have to try and see if you are one of those, wink*. Another common concern is the stretching; but I’m here to assure you that there wont be any stretching that will lead to incontinence or anything like that. Just like the vagina, the muscles will stretch momentarily to allow the entrance of a penis or a toy and then will go back to normal. Now, I do have to mention if you have problems with hemorrhoids or are having digestive problems, it would be better to skip it. Trust me.
At the beginning you can probably guess what my next words will be: start slow and communicate during the process. It may sound cliché but it’s really the only way to truly enjoy the experience. As you know, the anus doesn’t produce lubrication so you want to have a big bottle of lube at hand and use it generously. Usually a silicone based one will not dry out so I would recommend going with one of that variety. The best way to start is by doing some foreplay beforehand and having come already with some other form of stimulation, like toys, coitus, oral sex, whatever makes you have an orgasm (you won’t have trouble finding something, I’m sure wink*).
Afterwards, your partner can start to lubricate the area and then insert one very well lubricated finger slowly. When she is comfortable you can start to gradually penetrate her. It’s always a good idea to have a safe word in case she can’t handle it; it will make stopping things a bit easier. Just as well, I would also advice for the woman to go to do number 2 a few hours early, to be on the safe side (you can even opt for a douche or enema). I also recommend using a condom, even if it’s a monogamous relationship. This has two reasons: it will provide a smoother entry and is more hygienic; there are plenty of bacteria and germs in the anal canal. And remember to switch condoms! If you are going from anal to vaginal sex or vice versa, discharge the condom and use a new one; you don’t want to mix up the bacteria. And also, don’t use an oil-based lubricant with a latex condom because it may break.
If you are still nervous to try it or want to experiment a little beforehand for extra warm up (and extra fun!) I always say: use anal toys! They can help you a great deal if you are feeling unsure and want to have a taste of the anal experience before trying anal sex. Or you can also just stick to toys, whatever you like : ) A small butt plug is a great way to get used to the fullness. Just remember to use plenty of lube.
All in all anal play is not a taboo any more so there is shame in discussing it. Now, I would encourage trying things related to it, but only if it’s something that you want to try, turns you on and are curious about. Don’t try it just to please someone and even less if you feel pressured to do it. Just like all things sex related, the important thing is to have fun and to enjoy everything J