Fantasies are fun. You get to close your eyes, or not, and imagine everything you ever want to try and experience in the world. It’s really no different than wanting to be an astronaut. Except that with a willing partner you have a chance to fulfill your fantasies. And very people actually ever become astronauts. But it’s the same general idea.
You imagine your perfect scenario and you live in vicariously through mental pictures and ideas. When you put it that way, it sounds a bit creepy. But it’s really not. It’s a great and healthy way to explore sexual interests and ideals.
It doesn’t matter who you are, or how much you want to deny it, every single person has had a sexual fantasy in their life. Most of us have them regularly. And they vary a lot from person to person. Some people have simple fantasies about their partner and a variety of things they might like to explore. The rest of us have kinky ideas in our head of new role playing scenes.
The point is that fantasies are normal in general. But sometimes you find that your fantasies drift into areas that you aren’t very certain about. Maybe you’ve been taught that some things are taboo. So you begin to wonder if your fantasies are normal.
There are a few ways to tell if you should be concerned about your fantasies:
- Do your fantasies include your forcing, hurting, injuring or killing someone else against their will. I’m not talking about spanking or nipple clamps. I’m not referring to typical bondage. I am asking if your fantasies are in some way seriously harmful to another human being? If they are, then you might want to discuss this with someone. It doesn’t make you a bad person, but it might be a cause for concern. Obviously no one wants to be responsible for harming another person.
- Do your fantasies include illegal activities? People that are underage. Species that you are not supposed to be having sexual relations with? There are some things that you probably do not want to spend much, if any, time fantasizing about. Relatives, animals, underage people…they all fall into that line.
People tend to think that fantasizing about the hot guy from across the office sneaking up and satisfying them in the break room is abnormal. That it is not okay for a married woman to fantasize about the young boy that delivers her mail. I’ve known people that felt that BDSM and bondage fantasies were horrible to have and they were appalled when they began to have them.
None of this is wrong. Fantasies allow us to imagine a variety of circumstances. They allow us to explore the world outside of what we know. They give us a chance to see what it would be like if…
Sometimes we choose to take those fantasies and re-enact them. Sometimes they stay our quiet escape from the day to day of life. When someone asks me what my biggest fantasy is, I stumble for an answer. There is a way I’d answer the general public, a way I’d answer the man I love and a way I’d answer only for myself.
Because even those of us that have healthy and active lifestyles with a kinky twist have things we’d like to keep to ourselves. Things we’d like to explore someday. And more often than not, things that we know we’d never try but want to think about anyway.
You can’t cut off your imagination. It stifles your own happiness. Unless its harmful for someone, there’s no reason to not explore fantasies in your mind until you get tired of them.