Beginner’s Guide to Bondage Restraints and Harnesses

Once you’ve established a level of trust with your lover and are ready to introduce another delicious experience to your sex play, it’s time to try being restrained. You don’t have to do anything drastic right away. Allow your Dom/me to gently ease you into the titillating world of restraints and harnesses. The idea of being “restrained” can take on many forms, from a loosely wrapped necktie to chains and handcuffs. In other words, it can be a symbolic gesture wherein you can free yourself quickly. On the other hand, it can be a more intense situation where you are unable to escape on your own.

Many people find bondage exciting, for a variety of reasons. Just the physical feeling of being restrained or held back from touching their lovers or themselves can often be stimulating. Giving over total control or having it (depending on which role you take) is also sexually thrilling and can deepen the sensual bond with your partner.

Neckties and Plastic Ties

When it comes to restraints, neckties are probably one of the most popular choices. For one thing, they are easily accessible—found in almost every man’s closet. If you are in the process of getting undressed, then a tie becomes handy at any moment. Ties seem innocent—you can buy them at your favorite department store without any fear of embarrassment. Likewise, you don’t need to hide them if someone shows up at your home unexpectedly.

Ropes

A Rope is considered a traditional piece of bondage equipment. It can be used by itself to tie someone up, but can also be used as part of a more complicated suspension or restraint setup. You can experiment with different types of rope materials to see which one you and your partner prefer.

If you use ropes, be careful and alert to the possibility of rope burns, which can be painful and may be visible for a while after the rope is removed.

Soft Cuffs and Metal Handcuffs

Cuffs are a common item in adult playrooms and bondage setups. You can fasten it to parts of the bed or use as part of a suspension or restraint system. The use of cuffs can be especially exciting when combined with other forms of sexy play, such as blindfolds and spanking. Cuffs may be made from a variety of materials, including fur or leather. They may also be made of metal.

Many people find the idea of handcuffs exciting as part of a fantasy. However, some are nervous about taking this step in reality. You will probably be using handcuffs made of a soft material specifically designed for fun so a submissive person can break free when he or she wants to. It is not like the type law enforcement officials slap on criminals.

Spreader Bars and X-Crosses

A spreader bar is a piece of equipment consisting of a metal or wooden bar with cuffs to attach to a person’s hands and/or feet. The spreader bar may also have a hanging apparatus so it can be suspended or affixed to a wall or ceiling. Hence, spreader bars are often used as part of a suspension grid. The bars also have places to attach other types of bondage equipment.

As you can probably guess from the name, a spreader bar keeps the arms or legs apart like in a spread-eagle position by securing a person’s hands and feet behind the back. Thus, it can render a person totally submissive. Then again, it can be used just to keep hands and/or feet from moving. The bar prevents the submissive from instinctively tensing up or clenching and closing the legs.

Spreader bars are usually adjustable, so you can change the distance between hands/legs to what is comfortable or exciting for you. The bars usually include cuffs and have places to attach other types of bondage equipment. When used to secure both the hands and feet, spreader bars can render a person totally submissive.