Once you figure out what kind of sub you have on your hands, it will literally make planning scenes easier. Not everyone likes the same things and subs have different reasons why they like what they like. Figuring out those things that tickle your solar plexus is of utmost importance.
I’ve mentioned before how important is to know your sub. This way, you two can make the most out of every scene and play time. Depending on the sub’s particular tastes, you will need to make certain adjustments in the way you play and the scenes you plan.
Usually subs can fall into several big and general categories. Most of them relate with one or two of those big ones, so make sure to know your sub before you start playing. It will be a must for everyone to have fun, so at the end is worth it…completely.
You can always ask your sub, although sometimes they can’t really voice what they like about BDSM and being a sub. Sometimes you will certainly need to dig a little deeper to find out the core of what makes them a sub. Remind them being honest about it’s one of the most important parts of the process; they won’t be able to enjoy it if you two don’t figure out what kind of sub they really are.
So, when you have a clear understating about what your sub really loves, here are some useful ideas for you to start planning your scenes and play accordingly. For example:
- If your sub loves that sensation of letting go and not being in control of what is happening, you need to make that happen. This means you will need to take charge from the very start, and make sure they know this by being commanding verbally, physically and mentally. They probably need to feel vulnerable and helpless the most; sometimes, sexual activities are not even necessary.
You can begin by putting a hood or a blindfold on them. This will keep them guessing about what is next; make sure to tease them and think they will be getting something when in reality it will be something else. The idea is for the bondage to make them feel powerless, something like mummification, gags so they won’t be able to speak, tying their arms…get the idea? These types of submissives tend to like kidnapping scenes, so put it on the table to see if that is something they would enjoy.
- On the other hand, if your sub loves bondage equipment, you need to find out what categories of gear they enjoy. Sometimes they have a particular interest in something, like gags, ballet shoes or latex; other times they have several likes.
To make them happy you need to always have in hand what they enjoy and try to keep that collection fresh to switch things up. Usually, they tend to be very visual and the sexual part of things has a lot of weight for them. Usually, as long as you keep a wide assortment of the equipment they like, whether that means gags, gloves or whatever else they need, they will be extremely happy with you. And a happy sub is a happy dominant, right? Wink*.