We all know sex should be something we enjoy and take pleasure from…except when that doesn’t happen. For that reason it’s sad to think that a lot of women have reported to experience pain during a sexual encounter. Pain is a sign that something is wrong and can negatively affect your relationship and your overall life. So let’s have a look at the most common causes of pain during sex:
- So fast: probably the most usual cause when there’s pain during sex is that the foreplay takes very little time. Men tend to get in the mood faster than women, so it can take some understanding from them to solve this. Do you know vaginal tissue usually becomes lubricated enough for penetration up to 7 minutes after your brain is turned on? To enjoy sex you will have to get properly in the mood, this includes a lot of touching, kissing or anything that turns you on; it should be enough to increase blood flow to the genitals and this in turn will produce more lubrication and make things smoother. The challenge here for you is to figure out what really, really turns you on. Notice where exactly do you like to be touched and kissed and how. What kinds of things get you in the mood? Figuring out all of this will make everything easier. Just as what I will be talking below…
- Slippery slope: One direct cause of not taking enough time to get in the mood is poor lubrication. And as you know, things have to be pretty slippery down there for things to go smoothly and painless. If you have trouble getting there or are feeling dry, keep a bottle of lubrication It may be the biggest discovery in the whole wide world, wink*. There are many things that can vaginal dryness, such as: warm showers and baths, allergy medication, birth control pills and hormones.
- Relax, baby: If you constantly find yourself worried, with a lot of stress and anxiety, it’s normal for your sex life to suffer. Learn to decompress and relax by doing activities that make you get at ease. You can try yoga, working out, baking, meditation… whatever helps you in particular. And how about a massage with your partner before getting to the deed?
- STI’s: Some genital infections like herpes, yeast and trichomoniasis can make sex painful. You may not be aware you have one because you have no other symptoms, but these things can change your vagina making sex uncomfortable. That is one of the reasons why is so important to get tested; consult with your doctor. These infections can usually be treated and you will feel better once it gets treated.
- Not so right fit: Sometimes, the cause of pain during sex is that your partner’s penis is simply too big for your vaginal canal. In those cases, extra lubrication can help but if the problem is the penis hitting the cervix or there is still too much stretch for your lady bits, changing positions may your solution. Go for positions where the woman is on top or ones where she is the one in control; this way the woman can have better control about the depth and speed of the thrusting.
- Endometriosis? This is a condition where the lining of the uterus grows in other areas. It’s somewhat common and the faster detected it, the faster your life can get back on track. You should know endometriosis causes a lot of pain during intercourse and vaginal penetration (and also incredibly painful periods) so check with your doctor if you think you may have it. Endo can require some laparoscopic surgery but it’s all to get better. Actually the big problem here can be identifying you have it; it actually runs in families, so if you have relatives with the condition, you might be at risk.
- Men…opause: Menopause can cause quite a few changes in a woman’s body (obviously!) and that includes sex as well. The vagina can be less lubricated and some parts of the vulva and vagina can be extremely sensitive, making intercourse painful. If you are experiencing problems and are going through “the change”, talk with your doctor to find the best solution for you.
- Yes, IBS: Irritable bowel syndrome can also cause sexual problems. Common IBS symptoms include cyclic constipation or diarrhea, cramps, bloating and yes, pain during sex. Changes in the diet can improve it, as well as medication and stress reduction.