I guess the word humiliation has some pretty negative ideas that go along with it, right? Even when I tie the word "erotic" to it, it still seems to carry some of that negative weight. This is too bad, because done right, erotic humiliation can be just as great as all the rest of that pain we love oh-so-much. *teehee* When engaged in any kind of play, humiliation play included, the objective is arousal and pleasure for both parties, or else why would anyone even bother with it? The pain felt from the humiliation should be the same kind of pain felt when, say, a rope whip comes down on your ass. And it is for so many people, including me *g*—let me tell you all about it.
Erotic humiliation exists on a pretty wide scale. Phrases like dirty girl or perfect little whore are common and can get lots of people (like me!) feeling oh-so-hot. It goes without saying that in order to engage in erotic humiliation with someone, it must be established to be truly erotic in nature—no one should be trying to really hurt anyone. When Master says these things to me, he wants me to feel pleasure through the pain, and he knows it's working when my body trembles and he takes his fingers and feels how wet I have become… *g* Same goes for when I'm Domme. I can call him a naughty boy and make him kneel and kiss my feet because I know he feels the same way that I do about it.
Softening the humiliation by surrounding it with complimentary words helps to associate pleasure with the experience. The example I gave before, perfect little slut, is less harsh because there is something endearing in the way it's said—by using a word like perfect. Words were as far as we went for a while before we got into anything stricter and heavier because we were just getting used to it. Taking our time really built up to making the whole experience feel sexy and stimulating, getting both of us close to orgasm just through milder humiliation play, something we weren't expecting. What a nice surprise…*g*
Erotic humiliation can go well beyond words though. As if it wasn't hot enough already. *wink* When I'm Domme there are some really great ways to tease during humiliation play that I highly recommend for those up to it. I like to tie up his hands and make him take off my panties with his teeth and then I make him smell them, then put them on. Then I stand with my vagina right in from of his mouth but…no touching. Along those same lines, I like to gag him with something (even my panties), and rub my clit over his face—but he can't lick me because he's gagged! *g* Then if he wants to lick me, I make him do something like lap water from a bowl on the ground before I will consider it. Even more intense is when I put the base of a dildo in his mouth and make him satisfy me, first from the front, then from the back with his nose in my ass. It gets me wet just thinking about all of this…
When Master is humiliating me, he has his own set of tricks and teases. He denies me orgasms, often getting me so close and then stopping, making me beg and beg, and still not giving it to me until I have done other things. Things like dressing up like the gorgeous slut that I am and standing still in front of him so he can inspect me. And then I must strip it all off and kneel in front of him and suck him silently. And that's just the beginning. I find all of this so erotic because we have so many different ways to engage in humiliation play, so much variety that it never gets old. Sometimes, he even makes me beg for the types of humiliation that I he knows I like best, certain things he has done in the past. That is the type of thing that shows how much this erotic humiliation is play for pleasure and nothing negative (or course), because I can tell he's paying close attention to what I find the most stimulating.
So, don't let the term scare you! Erotic humiliation is so sensual and forms a strong bond between both parties, IN ADDITION to turning both of you on (him so hard, her so wet) often just through words. The point is to feel so aroused by each other that you'll be begging for the humiliation play and dreaming about it in ways that traditional sex might not inspire so intensely. I know, because I find myself fantasizing all the time, starting with those dirty words whispered into my ear… *g*