I know I’ve probably mentioned this about one hundred times, but BDSM can come in any way you like. BDSM related activities can be as kinky or as vanilla as you like; you can have a full blown dungeon style bondage scene or you can have a very vanilla sexual experience with a little sprinkle of kinkiness on top. It is all matter of preference…and thanks to the universe for that! wink*
The amount of BDSM things you can do are basically limitless and will come down to your preferences and people willing to do them with you. Once you dip your toes into this world, you will probably be hooked for life. And you will constantly be looking for new and fresh ideas to keep things exiting. It is ok, it really something that comes with the territory; no matter what your style is or in what form do you practice or what you are into, you will constantly be looking for new things, toys and techniques to try. It’s only natural.
But, before you start with anything, you will need to figure out some things before a BDSM experience. Remember you will need to be safe before anything else, so it’s incredibly important for you to never skip this part.
If you have a partner, you will need to discuss things with them. As a general rule, you can’t just whip out a paddle or a pair of nipple clamps and say “hey honey we’re doing this tonight” That is why you need to have an open conversation beforehand about the things you want to try in the bedroom related to the BDSM world.
This doesn’t mean you have to plan to a T the things that you will be doing in the bedroom; after all, there is always room for some surprises, but you really need to discuss these things first in order to know your partners and your own expectations. Keeping an open line of communication will always be the most important step and the most important part throughout this whole experience. And this will be even more important in the first few times, either with a new partner or when incorporating bondage activities. Communication is key at all times.
No, before you start doing anything it’s imperative for you to choose a safe word. This is nothing more than a word that, when spoken, means “all play must stop right away, no questions asked” There is a difference of someone saying “oh no more please” to someone saying “alligator” in a scene; the first one is something that could be uttered at the height on an intense experience and although the person is saying no, it doesn’t necessarily mean the other person must really stop because everyone can get lost in the experience (we have all been there). Now, when someone says the safe word they really mean something is not right because they are not enjoying it or they are uncomfortable for instance.
You just need to choose a word it’s not commonly said and would be totally out of context in this situation. But don’t choose something so weird that the person cannot pronounce properly either. If you will be using a gag, you will need to choose something else because the person won’t be able to speak; most of the times couples choose a tapping sequence, holding a pair of bells in the hand and shaking them, humming a particular melody or snapping their fingers.
Lastly, you will need to have several items nearby. If you want to use rope or tape, keep close a pair of safety scissors that work on that material. If you will be using handcuffs or leg cuffs, make sure to have they keys before you close them (It may sound obvious, but I’ve seen cases so I’m saying that for a reason)
Now, ready to get started?