Sex is a normal part of everyday life – however there is no standard for what actually constitutes as ‘normal sex’ or a ‘normal sex life’. The difference between normal sex and incredible sex is highly subjective. In other words it is based entirely on the specific individual. Based on this knowledge there is only one person who is responsible for enabling you to have incredible sex – YOU. Yes, your partner is also a factor but, and I am going to make an educated guess here, they are not telepathic.
- Be honest with yourself
Seems pretty simple, but understanding exactly what you want from your sex life is fundamental to be able to get it.
A good place to start is to think about what you imagine when you masturbate – try not to get side tracked at this point if you get what I mean. The next step is to consider what are your favorite aspects of sex with your partner. This can be anything from very specific things such as the way in which they touch you to the things that are said. Finally, you can compare the two. How far apart is your fantasy and your reality? This is the gap we are now going to work on closing.
- Be honest with your partner
This can often be more difficult than it first seems, but it all depends on your partner’s character type. Some people may react in defensive manner – this is a relatively normal response. Explain sensitively that their sex is great – list to them exactly what they do that sends you crazy (in a good way of course) – put their mind at ease. It is not uncommon for your partner to have a whole range different things they are very interested in but have been too shy or embarrassed to tell you.
Very rarely will a caring partner not be willing to assist you to reach your goal of an incredible sex life – and if they don’t then you should be asking yourself why you are with them anyway. Very rarely will a couple be so incompatible sexually that it creates a serious issue in their relationship. As my Grandma always used to say – and this is taken utterly out of context of course – if you don’t ask you’ll never know.
Look around you. The World is an extremely diverse place filled with different concepts, people and ideas. The world of sex is no different. However, rather than view this extensive diversity with a fear of the unknown you should instead view it with excitement. This is your personal era of discovery. Think of yourself as a modern day Christopher Columbus steering your ship towards an unknown but exiting and potentially life changing destination – yes, I realize this metaphor was more than a stretch, but it kind of worked right?
Just like Columbus, who was convinced he had discovered a Western route to India and the Spice Islands, you may discover aspects of your sex life (and your partner’s for that matter) which were previously completely unknown. This only adds to the excitement and thrill of the ride. Be open, caring and understanding.
- Seek advice and always put safety first
Do not go and ask your mother whether she has been suspended in bondage before – that’s not what I mean by seeking advice. Search websites and online forums. You will be amazed at the number of fetish specific help forums and websites there are.
Read all the information you can, especially with regard to safety. People get injured, hurt and sadly even die from attempting sexual practices they know very little about. Believe me, whatever it is you are thinking of, it has been done thousands of times before. Safety for you and your partner is an absolute priority and always should be a consideration no matter how small (or how big *winks*) the ‘task’ is.
No matter what the sexual interest, I can assure you that the pleasure – or pain (the good type!) can be heightened considerably through the use of specific toys and various other items. Some fetishes and interests may well revolve completely around a certain toy or material. Latex and leather fetishes are a prime example of this.
By setting aside a small budget each month, you and your partner are fully able to explore your wildest desires without a detrimental effect on your finances. One approach I have found works very well is taking it in turns with your partner to choose the item purchased that month. This builds excitement and anticipation – two emotions that work wonders in the bedroom. Keep the item you are going to purchase a secret until it arrives. Little things like this can really make a difference to the whole experience.
Well that’s it, the five things I feel can certainly help if not ensure a person gets everything they ever wanted from their sex life. Remember the one person who responsible for you having an incredible sex life is YOU. Be honest with yourself and your partner.