Having your partner go down on you is probably one of the greatest parts of sex. Especially when your partner knows what they’re doing. Unfortunately, that seems like the rarity. I’m sure every woman has experienced the partner with a limited amount of experience in the oral sex department. I’ve learned a couple of tricks to help them find their way without being too “bossy” about it.
Let’s get into it.
1. Grab their hair when they hit the spot.
This is by far one of my favorite things to do when I feel like my partner needs a little bit of direction. When my partner finds my clitoris, I grab a handful of their hair (gently) and hold it in the spot. Occasionally, you’ll get a partner who thinks that means to stop movement altogether. So, I like to add a little bit of a back and forth motion with their head. This gives them the hint that I want a little movement, but only on that spot.
2. Moan when they’re doing something right.
This works a little bit like positive reinforcement. When your partner starts to do something you like, get a little louder. You don’t need to scream and sound like you’re faking it, but definitely give them the idea that you’re enjoying what they’re doing. Chances are, they’ll get really turned on and keep doing exactly what they’re doing.
3. Use your hands to direct them to the spot.
One of the best techniques is to reach down and pull apart the labia to expose the clit. This gives them a little bit of direction as far as where to go. Not to mention, it’s extremely sex for both you and your partner. Try holding your hands in the same spot for a while and utilize the moaning technique when your partner gets a good rhythm going.
4. Grind your hips into your partner’s mouth.
This is a great way to give your partner a little bit of break from exhausting their tongue. If you simply grab on to your partner’s head and hold them still for a moment, you can grind your hips into their tongue and stimulate yourself that way. This is great for controlling the speed of your partner’s mouth. If you want it slower, simply move slower. If you’d like it faster, you can move faster. It works pretty well and, like many of the other tips, it’s extremely sexy. This is one of my go to moves because it really pumps up the adrenaline and heats things up between you and your partner.
5. Sit on top of your partner rather than having them “go down” on you.
This is great because it really puts you in control. You can control the amount of pressure on your clit, you can control the speed, and you can also control where your partner’s tongue goes. I really like grabbing my partners hands and placing them on my butt. It gives them something to hang on to. Be careful not to push down too hard on your partners face, unless you’ve established a safe word and allow them a way to communicate if you’re suffocating them. This is a really nice alternative to the average version of oral sex.
I love all of these techniques because they don’t take away any of the “sexy” from your experience. It can be difficult to pull away and tell your partner that you are wanting something different than what they’re giving you. It’s so much easier to just show them by maneuvering their body (or tongue) around. Instead of breaking to give instructions, you can keep things moving forward while getting exactly what you want from them.
If you’ve tried all of these techniques and are still left wanting for more, I would suggest adding something like an anal plug to your play. Sometimes the addition of that anal plug creates an entirely new sensation.