Your sex life is like a plant, you have to maintain it so it doesn’t die…weird analogy, but very appropriate. I mean, just as you take care of the relationships in your life and you invest time on them, you also have to take proper care of your sex life. And just as you are always looking for something new to try in the bedroom and the latest techniques and tips to improve your sex life, you should also occupy some time in improving your sexual health.
The first step towards a sexual health life is communication with your partner. This is key, and not only in your sex life, but also for your general relationship. Talking about how you are feeling might be a bit cliché but is a necessity for a happy couple. Just as well, like I said at first, any relationship needs time so it’s important to take aside some moments to enjoy as a couple. Whether is a date, a dinner, taking a bath together or doing whatever activity you two enjoy. It doesn’t have to be about sex, just about spending time together. This will nurture the relationship and will make both parts feels cherished and important, thus improving things in the bedroom.
If it’s a new relationship, communication is even more important because you are starting to get to know the person. One of the worst things to do is assume, so always ask questions and talk openly. Don’t be scared or ashamed to talk about sex! Be opened and honest about your desires and wants; this will actually improve the quality of the sex you are having.
If things in the bedroom and/or the relationship are not all that great, you can always try therapy. Whether is couple’s therapy or sex therapy, they can help you get over a rough patch; remember our sex life is strongly linked to our emotions and mental state, so dealing with those feelings can help with your intersexual problems.
Now, for the physical part, a great place to start is also a fun one: incorporate Kegel exercises into your work out routine (just try not to do it at the same time, wink*). These exercises are great because they strengthen your pelvic muscles; they will help to increase your blood circulation. This should interest you because strong pelvic muscles create greater sensitivity and enhanced orgasms… do I have your attention now? Wink*.
If you want to practice them, you can start by sitting with your legs a bit apart or lie down with your feet flat on the floor and your knees bent. Then, tightly contract your pelvic muscles and release them fast, in succession for about 30 or 50 repetitions. When you get acclimated with this, you can start to do longer contractions: squeeze and hold them for 5 seconds and then let them relax for 5 seconds as well. Afterwards you can augment this time to 10 seconds intervals. Once you have mastered the technique, you can play with the time and seconds you contract and release. If you do them regularly, you will start to notice more control in your pelvic muscles and will be more…aware of things down there. Oh! And you will probably do them sitting on the car, waiting in line during errands or even during a boring work meeting wink*.
About healthy habits you can incorporate to improve your sexual health, there’s a clearly one you can ditch: smoking. Nicotine is basically poison for your veins, arteries and blood vessels. If these are compromised, erections and blood flow are in danger, augmenting the possibilities of suffering from erectile dysfunction. What’s more, smoking can also lead to infertility and decreases the quality of semen.
If you are interested in what foods you can incorporate into your life to improve your sex life, look no more because I will be talking you about some of them right now. Healthy fats are a must if you want to keep your brain and your heart in top shape...body parts that play a key role in your sex life, right? Healthy fats can be found in nuts, avocados, olive oil, salmon and coconuts. On the other hand, you may have heard raw oysters are a great companion to your bedroom sessions. And they are, just probably not in the way you are thinking. Although their aphrodisiac qualities may depend on the person, they actually increase the quality of the sperm. So men, get oysterized (ha ha).
For the actual act, remember foreplay should be something that takes the time it deserves. This is all about the warm up and enjoying yourself, so don’t try to rush it. You and your partner will enjoy sex a bit more if you are both ready to get into the actual coitus, especially when it comes to women and lubrication.
Orgasm is not necessarily the point of sex, is more about the enjoyment of the ride (is a journey not a destination!). The important thing is to have fun and explore each other, whether that is through touching, masturbating, massaging, kissing and cuddling. Look for anything that makes you feel good.