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10 Traits of a Natural Dom

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I’m not sure why people believe that its easier to find a BDSM partner than it is to find a vanilla one. That is just not the case. It’s not like we have a hotline we call and say “I want a man that will tie me up and spank me, STAT!” and they send over the perfect guy. But that’s a damn good idea if I do say so myself.Blonde in Blue Open Mouth Ring Gag and bondage collar

Much like anyone else, we search for an ideal partner. Someone that possesses the characteristics that we prefer in someone. It just so happens that being a little kinky is one of them.

What do I look for when I am dating? It’s hard to remember before I was committed to Master; but I think I can give you an idea:

  1. I wanted a man I could trust. I’m not different than you are just because I am submissive and into the BDSM lifestyle. I want to know when I am bound and gagged that I don’t have to worry about what might can happen. That is why I need to be able to trust the little things as well.
  2. I wanted a man that was caring and compassionate. If he was more of a tyrant all the time, I’d be concerned that his love of dominance could land him as the abuser in a bad relationship. Since I wasn’t looking to be the next women’s tv drama story, I choose someone that I see compassion in.
  3. Bondage Slave Kneeling in Red Leather BDSM Posture Collar and sexy black vinyl catsuitObviously I wanted a man that was dominant. It seems like the obvious thing, but a lot of people confuse dominance with bossy and controlling. A true dominant man will be a leader. He will be able to make decisions without input. He will be able to do all of this with confidence and without being bossy and rude.
  4. My ideal dom would be someone that has to take pride in themselves and what they are. They will have confidence and be happy about their choices. If they falter, I am going to have less confidence in them.
  5. A good dom will also be someone that is patient and kind. Submissives do not always do things perfectly. They need a leader, but one that can offer kindness and work with them until they get it right.
  6. Like anyone else, I want someone that I am compatible with. Someone that I can enjoy even when we aren’t in a strong game of role playing. This means that I want someone I actually like to be around when things aren’t kinky and exciting.Sexy Brunette with Crop from Sub-shop.com
  7. I personally enjoy a good conversation. I want a man around that has a head on his shoulders. He should have enough intelligence and common sense to be able to have a decent chat on whatever topics happen to come up during the day.
  8. One of the biggest things that will attract me to a dom is his ability to maintain control. As a sub, I have encountered doms that would lose themselves in the role play. This could cause them to go too far and too fast at times. I prefer someone that has the time and effort to put into a good time. 
  9. Naturally he will need to be able to have some vision into what he wants. He’ll need to be able to imagine a good scene and carry it out. So imagination comes up on my top ten list each and every time.
  10. Finally, I’m a big fan of appearance. So I want a man that is able to maintain a nice appearance. I’m not saying looks. I’m saying cleanliness, dress, everything that makes a man appealing to me.

 

 

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