Nobody is born learning a particular skill. Yeah, sure, some people have an innate talent for something, but they have to work on it. Just as someone with a natural ability for piano has to learn the notes or a natural skill for languages means you still have to learn them, everything in this life can be learned, practiced and worked on. So, if every time you see a woman that calls to your attention, at a social gathering, street, etc. and you don't know hot to act, you found the right place to be (by reading this wink*)
- Identify the signs: If a woman has looked at you several times and/or has made a little (flirty, may I say?) eye contact she probably wants you to come and talk to her. Oh! And us women like to tell our girlfriends if we think a guy is cute or hot, so if you see by chance her friends are also looking over or giggling, odds are in your favor, tiger rawr*
- Timing the approach: You should pursue a woman that appears to be interested in engaging in social interaction. This could be someone who looks bored with her current companion – go out there and save her from boredom- or a girl who appears to be looking for someone to talk to. Why should you do this? Because chances are she will be more open and you will be successful, of course!
- But if you see she is having an intense conversation with a friend, one to one style, its maybe a good idea to stay away. She's probably catching up with someone or having a discussion about something. Either way, you would come up as intrusive, so this definitely is a no.
- As a general idea, don't approach if she is on date, even if you can see the date is not going well. Possible exceptions? If you could see it's a first (horrible) date and the guy she's with does not appear interested, you could maybe approach her (if you are feeling bold, of course) Women tend to appreciate ballsiness, to put it that way.
- Going for the kill: You will want to make eye contact, not in creepy way (giggles), but just make sure you lock eyes with the woman you want to pursue. Nothing looks worse for a man than approaching a woman with downcast eyes (well, I'm sure there are worse things, but you get the point, wink*) Stand up straight, don't cross your arms over your chest and smile (even if you get rejected, walk out proud!) Pay attention to what she's saying, avoid distractions (like looking at your phone!) and try to appear open. In short: really listen to what she's saying and engage in conversation.
- First impressions: Every person has its own style, obviously, but you'll get extra points if you appear to be well groomed (think a person who at least showers daily) Avoid pick up lines (most women can tell you: it does not work!), the only exception is maybe as a joke if she seems like the type to appreciate that humor. It's better to be direct and honest, make it clear you are interested in approaching her, introduce yourself, and you could even shake her hand, a little chivalry goes a long way wink*
- Attention diversion: Make sure she feels special and make sure she knows you are interested in knowing her, that you don't want her only because of how she looks. Put the spotlight on her; ask her questions about herself, her life, her interests, and her opinions on things. If you want to pay her a compliment, do it. Just make sure it's really honest, otherwise it could backfire.
- The other side: If all of the above goes well, you are making her enjoy herself, but she should also be thinking she wants more of this, that she wants to see you again. For this, show her some things about yourself that will make her want to get to know you better, talk about something you are passionate about and some interesting facts about yourself; show her how you are. And find something you both have in common!
- Be yourself. Show her the real you, but try to let those parts of you that might throw her off for when she knows to know you better. Oh, and remember you are not talking with your bros, so leave the crass jokes aside and dirty humor for another time. Make her laugh, keep up the banter and tease her a little. Don't take yourself too seriously; you are both trying to have a good time!
- Red alerts: If the conversation stalls completely, she's not maintaining eye contact, you're not feeling much chemistry or she starts checking her phone constantly, its probably time to step back. Just say something like "it was great talking to you, but I have to go. See you later" and walk out with your head high and confidence intact.
Success: Otherwise, if the conversation has moved on nicely, you are both into each other and there are some sparks (chemistry is key!) you should definitely take it to another level. If you are in a nightclub, offer to go somewhere else a little more private. Or suggest moving on to an after party (she can bring her girlfriends too! don't exclude them). If the night has definitely wrapped up, you could either: a) Be bold and take her home, only if you are super confident about this and she looks into it on the first night b) Play it safe and get her number. Something along the lines "this has been great, I had a great time and would love to talk more during drinks or dinner some other time. Can I get your number?" Whatever option you go over, I'm sure you will have an amazing time. Good luck stud! Wink*