Top drop, sub drop. These are terms used to describe some of the feelings experienced after a BDSM scene. You hear a lot about sub drop but not so much about top drop. We will explore both here as well as what you can do to avoid or alleviate much of the feelings associated with dropping.
What is sub drop? In relative terms sub drop is "coming down" after a scene primarily when a submissive or bottom in the scene reaches subspace. This "coming down" is different with each submissive and should be attended to accordingly. Some people come down slowly and others come down rather quickly. The after effects of coming down can happen within a few minutes to days after a scene.
Drop is something that occurs due to chemical changes in the body during play. Hormones, the release of endorphins, testosterone, and adrenaline, all of these can be wonderful feelings that give us the "high" during play. They also are the primary causes of drop.
It is important for the dominant or the top to be aware of this and be prepared to deal with sub drop as the need arises. Sub drop is generally described as feelings of depression or some type of
emotion that may display itself in that manner. Sadness, a sense of loss, or feelings of loneliness are some of the feelings that have been described when talking about the drop. Of course, not all submissive or bottoms are the same and the drop is not same for everyone either. Some people never experience drop and for the most part this is due to the levels of care given after a scene.
It is common to see the gamut of behavior with submissive or bottoms after a scene from giddiness to uncontrolled crying. Sometimes these behaviors will have no rational explanation at all. Sometimes you will have what he/she will describe as the best scene in the world and drop will hit and leave a myriad of feelings that will have you wondering what went wrong. What do you do to deal with this?
The best way to deal with drop is AFTERCARE. Aftercare is possibly the most important part of a scene next to negotiation. If your play partner is not brand new to the scene, ask during negotiations what he/she usually requires for aftercare. This too can range from being left alone to cuddling and comforting. It is much easier to find out ahead of time then try to wing it during an emotional time.
When doing aftercare, it is important to take care of any first-aid that needs to be there after a scene. Most submissive will have a drape or blanket or something of that nature with them to wrap up after a scene. It is important to make sure that their basic needs are met. They may need something cold to drink. Also have some food items available. Chocolate is a favorite tool to assist with drop and aftercare.
The submissive might need to sit at your feet for a bit, or be touched, cuddled, held, or may not want to be touched at all. Make sure that you are the one who is doing all the cleaning when your partner(s) is experiencing a sub drop. Help them pack their toys. Be sure to allow enough time to make sure that they are taken care of and you will have a play partner that keeps coming back for more.
Whether you are Dominant or submissive, you should be aware of your feelings as well as your play partner's. Use the important tool of aftercare to avoid a lot of the symptoms of drop or to alleviate them if they do occur. They may never occur, but if they do you will have the information needed to do something about them. Play safe and be healthy and happy in play.