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Initiating a Relationship with a Dominant Female

In today's time, people struggle with introducing themselves and trying to form a relationship regardless which type of person they are. It can be tough. Many things have gone digital and many people just do not know how to approach a person anymore.

That being said-- it can be even more difficult if you are a submissive male that would like to become involved with a dominant female. This is especially true if you are new to the BDSM arena and are new to the submissive side of things. So what can you do to help your success? Surprisingly, not much different than you would do in any other circumstance.

  • Don't be a jerk: This seems like it would be a simple and understandable idea, but many fail. Whether you are walking up to a dominant female or approaching her online, you don't want to come across the wrong way. Don't walk up and immediately talk about sex. Don't send a message online with naked pictures. Just because the relationship will inevitably be a sexual one doesn't mean that she is not a normal person that wants to be treated the same as anyone else. Introduce yourself. Discuss common interests. Ask questions. Leave the sexual stuff for another time.
  • Learn about her: Some doms want to strictly be called specific things. Mam, Mistress etc. Others only want that from their own personal sub. Don't approach her as if you are already in a relationship. Make sure that you know enough to know how to address her before you do so. It will go a long way.
  • Be confident: This is one of the most common misconceptions about submissives. People believe that they are weaker and lack the confidence that others have. You don't want your potential dom to view you that way. She wants to see that you are confident and self assured. She's not trying to make you insecure in the relationship. She is training you to obey her. There is a big difference. So always have a smile and the assurance to be yourself.
  • Be honest: One of the most important things you can do when approaching anyone for any relationship potential is to be honest. This includes about anything you share. Should the conversation turn to the submissive topic, don't exaggerate. Don't fake experience you don't have and don't leave out the experience that you do have.
  • Respect privacy: Not everyone runs around shouting that they are dominant or submissive. Many people keep their own personal business private. Try and understand that. Especially if you are new to this, it can be hard to contain your desires and what you are looking for. But if you approach her with a swarm of questions or information that she may not want to advertise publicly, the only thing you are going to get is pushed away. Let her lead into that subject should she choose to do so.
  • Don't assume: Finally, don't assume that just because she's a dom and you are a sub that it will work out. She has her taste and interests just as you do. That's something that you have to understand. If you approach with the idea that she has to choose you, it is possible that you will be disappointed tremendously. It is also possible that you will ruin the relationship before it even has a chance to start. She wants to be impressed by you, not pressure into something she isn't looking for or ready to approach.