If you had not noticed, sex after coming out as a cross dresser changes, wink*… But that is not a bad thing! It’s just that things will be a bit different, that is all. Communication and honesty with your partner will be the pillar stone on your path, so keep them in mind as you go in this journey (this sounded a lot more inspirational that I meant it to sound, but ok, right?) You will have to find out what works and what doesn’t work for you two in the bedroom, and that is ok, that is part of the fun wink*.
At first, try cross dressing as way to role play to make things easier in the bedroom. This means: don’t show up on your best garters and heels if you haven’t discussed it beforehand. Talk about what the scenario will entail and what the boundaries will be. It is a good idea to talk about your expectations and concerns about this beforehand just because it will make things easier. And as I always say, take things slow and be open. You don’t know if something works for you till you’ve tried it, but always introduce elements slowly, so you don’t get skittish wink*. The point here is to connect with your partner and have fun; this can mean different things for each couple, so that is why you need to talk about stuff. Some couples can enjoy shopping for dresses or lingerie for the man to wear, but maybe for others that is not something they will enjoy, see what I mean?
As for the man, the first time they have sex as their alter ego can be nerve wrecking. So to the man I say: don’t be scared! Just as other first times, it can be the beginning of something wonderful and there is nothing to fear, it’s only your partner that you like and love reciprocally! As for the ladies, be open-minded and discuss beforehand any concerns, emotions, and feelings you may have about the encounter. And remember your partner will probably be more nervous than you, so try to put them at ease. Hey, someone has to be the calm one, so take your picks mates wink*.
For the first time, I always recommend setting some time for the two of you so you won’t get interrupted and have time to properly savor the experience. If you have kids, either go to a hotel and call a nanny or let them spend the night at a friends/family house. You can go on to dinner first, just to get in the mood, or do something you enjoy as a couple to get you at ease (drinking a glass or two of wine may help, just kidding…wink*) and men, make sure to put on your sexy lingerie so you don’t back out!
How you go from here will be determined by the boundaries discussed earlier. Some couples may prefer the man dresses up but continues to have “normal” sex, others may want to get out of the box a little and the man may want to play as the woman, or…basically any variation that you guys find rock your boats. If you as a man, don’t want to use your, mmj… equipment, tell your partner and come (pun intended) prepared so you both can have a great time (cough, vibrators and prostate massagers, cough), but hey, like I said this is just an idea. I’m sure you guys will come (again pun intended) with whatever thing you like.