Please tell us a little bit about yourself – How would you describe your everyday vanilla life?
I am what you would call a pretty average guy. I love sports, messing around with the latest tech toys and gadgets, hanging out with my girlfriend, and spending time with family. I am an Instructional Designer for my 9-to-5 job and create online training for internal employees.
When did you first realize you were into bondage?
As far as I can remember, I have always enjoyed a damsel in distress. Even watching cartoons as a child, I definitely paid closer attention if April O'Neil or Catwoman ended up bound and gagged. There were two moments as a child that always stuck with me. The first was while channel surfing and seeing a Spanish Tele Novella. I had no idea what was going on, but I noticed that three men had tied a woman to a table and had gagged her. I remember getting very aroused and my eyes were glued to the TV. I was too young to realize what exactly was going on, but seeing her helplessly tied to the table and struggling to escape was a defining moment for me. The other was watching Batman, the Animated Series and enjoying seeing Catwoman, Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, etc. end up tied up with the classic OTM gag. The one scene that sticks out to me was a Christmas scenario that involved a TV reporter. She was struggling in a large Christmas stocking (up to her shoulders) and gagged with a candy cane. These first two scenes were the first times I could remember being excited to see a woman in bondage.
How you best describe yourself and why? Your choices are: Dominant, Submissive, Switch or Fuzzy Rainbow Unicorn.
I would definitely describe myself as a Dominant. I think it honestly stems from a power thing. I used to be incredibly shy growing up and I think seeing a helpless damsel struggle was a turn-on because of the power and control. You can render someone helpless, even stealing their voice with an effective gag. Being a Sub never crossed my mind and it does not excite me like being a Dom does.
Do you feel that your desire for bondage is more physical or emotional? (please elaborate)
I lean heavily towards the emotional desire for bondage versus physical. I practice very simple bondage with my girlfriend, but it is rarely more than a pair of handcuffs and ballgag. My preferences are a little bit more extreme, in terms of positions, toys, equipment, etc. but I never feel the need to act them out with my girlfriend. Granted, she is completely new to the BDSM scene, but even if she was more experienced, I do not think I would act out my more wild fantasies.
What does BDSM mean to you: is it a lifestyle, a diversion, or something else?
I generally tend to think of it as more of a diversion. This is related to question before regarding the emotional desire for bondage. I definitely agree that it is more of a diversion than a lifestyle. I generally mix in BDSM into my sex life versus having it completely revolve around it. It dominates my porn viewing, but outside of that, I would say it is more of a diversion.
Were lovers accepting of your interest in bondage?
I have only ever told my current girlfriend since we have been getting more serious. My other girlfriends in college were not as serious, so I never felt as comfortable revealing my desires to them. My current girlfriend has been incredibly accepting and has even taken an interest in trying out new toys and equipment.
Please briefly describe your first bondage experience.
It started with my current girlfriend asking about my fantasies and how we can act them out. I was hesitant at first, but I opened up and she was incredibly accepting and encouraging. She even wanted to check out your website to find sexy things to try out and use in the bedroom. I remember the very first time we tried bondage, I tied her hands in front of her with a scarf and we had an intense make out session that ended with sex. It was amazing! This turned into her browsing on your site and picking out cuffs and a ballgag to use later on.
What was your best bondage experience?
It started with a shipment for your website and we decided to lay out all of the items on the bed and pick and choose what we wanted to use. We wanted to be a little bit more adventurous this time around. We selected a pair of fuzzy cuffs, a blindfold, her favorite ballgag, and a magic wand. We started slowly, and we built to a climax that was amazing for both of us. We still talk about it to this day and we have talked about doing it again shortly (probably for my birthday).
What is the most creative safeword you have ever used?
Because I am concerned for my girlfriend's safety, we generally do not get creative with positions or bondage gear. I generally just cuff her hands in front, and will gag her, but I do not hold her hands down or anything forceful. She generally will lay her hands down above her head and will notify me immediately if anything happens. I have thought about something like Pineapple or something random like that.
What do you feel is most important about the experience of bondage?
I generally think the safety of your partner is the most important part for me I am generally a very plain vanilla person when it comes to actually acting out on my bondage fantasies. In fantasies, more adventurous positions, more stringent gear, etc. is very exciting to me, but I am constantly making sure she is okay and comfortable. In terms of what excites me in fantasies or porn viewing, visually appealing bondage and the struggling are the most important things in my bondage tastes. Generally, if the bondage is not believable, or if the actress does not at least pretend to struggle, it definitely takes something away from the scene. .
What is the best advice you would give to someone just starting out with BDSM?
I would definitely stress safety. Bondage can be an incredibly exciting and fun way to explore your sexuality, but safety is key. Beyond that, just be adventurous and open-minded. Have fun with it, and don't be afraid to talk with your partner.
What is your favorite gear, toy or lingerie item from sub-shop.com and why?
My favorite item, by far, is the ballgag I purchased for my girlfriend. It is just a trainer ballgag that is all black, straps and all, but she thinks it is the sexiest thing. The fact that she picked it out and she loves it so much makes me enjoy it that much more. It also helps the ballgag is my favorite way to silent her when she has been naughty.
What is the one sensual fantasy you haven’t lived out yet that you are excited to try?
I would love to try tying my girlfriend in a spreadeagle position. Unfortunately, the bed that we use does not have any anchor points and the bed frame was constructed in a unique way. Essentially, if we want to try out the spreadeagle position, we need to try the under-the-bed restraint system or a sports sheet bed sheet system.
What’s your favorite knock-knock joke?
Cows go who?
No, silly. Cows go moo.
What is Eskimo ice?
No idea haha