Please tell us a little bit about yourself – How would you describe your everyday vanilla life?
I work as an executive in the pharmaceutical industry. I enjoy staying busy, working on cars, being outdoors, reading, and maintaining my fitness. In most respects I consider myself fairly typical.
When did you first realize you were into bondage?
The earliest indication came in my pre-pubescent years. I would see relatively tame and commonplace depictions of restraint in various media and knew I liked them for some reason. Later, as the Internet started blossoming and I was exposed me to a greater variety of imagery in my teens, I realized that it was a common thing and that made the connection for me.
How you best describe yourself and why? Your choices are: Dominant, Submissive, Switch or Fuzzy Rainbow Unicorn.
Dominant. I enjoy being in control with my partner.
Do you feel that your desire for bondage is more physical or emotional? (please elaborate)
Mostly physical, but I appreciate there is an emotional/mental aspect to it as well for me.
What does BDSM mean to you: is it a lifestyle, a diversion, or something else?
I view it as part of satisfying my desires and maintaining a happy, healthy sex life. I never really had the inclination to pursue it as a lifestyle. It's predominately recreation for me.
Were lovers accepting of your interest in bondage?
Generally, yes. Reactions have ranged from very positive/no reservations to intrigued and willing to try--all the way to uninterested.
Please briefly describe your first bondage experience.
It was a somewhat clumsy, awkward experience involving a high school girlfriend, a cheap set of handcuffs, and not a whole lot of know-how. Nonetheless, it was a fun time for both and planted the seed for my future endeavors.
It's hard to pin it down to one, but I'd say it would have involved my current girlfriend, as sessions are always more enjoyable with someone you really care about and with whom you have the time to really pursue your fantasies/interests.
What is the most creative safeword you have ever used?
I prefer using gags with my partner, so safewords don't really work. We typically use hand signals or finger snaps. We're also very much in tune with each other's limits, which helps avoid issues.
What do you feel is most important about the experience of bondage?
That the foundation of trust is established. It really opens up the door to fulfilling fantasies, and it's important that everyone is comfortable with what's going on.
What is the best advice you would give to someone just starting out with BDSM?
First, have an idea of what you're in to, your initial limits, and your knowledge base. This will save you time and money, and is crucial to getting you and your partner on the same page.
Second, don't rush anything. You may know what you want to do, but if your partner is also new or inexperienced, you don't want to rush from zero to a hundred right away. If on your first session your idea was for her to wind up hogtied and gagged in a dog kennel, and her idea consisted more of trying out some handcuffs, you can bet that you're going to run into issues and have trouble building trust. Additionally, if you're inexperienced people can wind up getting hurt if you don't take the time to set limits, so take precautions and work on your technique.
Third, communicate. Just like any other relationship, one that has a BDSM component is well-served by maintaining open lines of communication. This is not just for the sake of safety-it's to ensure that everyone is enjoying the experience and having their expectations met and their fantasies realized.
What is your favorite gear, toy or lingerie item from sub-shop.com and why?
The Code of Silence locking ball gag. It has good construction, is aesthetically pleasing, and the ball has a little bit of give for greater comfort and to avoid jaw pain. I'll be replacing it after she eventually chews the color off.
What is the one sensual fantasy you haven’t lived out yet that you are excited to try?
We've always wanted to do a kidnap/abduction fantasy, and she's always wanted a set of wooden stocks. Hopefully soon we will tackle both.
What’s your favorite knock-knock joke?
Robin you! Hand over your cash!
What is Eskimo ice?
Crushed ice to keep fish and bait cold.
Is there anything else you would like to share with us such as advice, thoughts or more knock-knock jokes? We are all ears and ball gags.
Life is too short to sweat the small things. The key to happiness is focusing on the things that really matter.