Please tell us a little bit about yourself – How would you describe your everyday vanilla life?
What life? Pffft! Haha…but no really, I live pretty chill. Usually just happy to get through the day whilst creating the fewest waves possible. Some people feel eager to take on the world and make the mark on the world. I say good for them! Excelsior and all that! Me, I'm happy with a nap. I have a pretty quiet job I work, and overall it's all very balanced. Nothing glamorous, but no drama either! I keep my kinks separate from the rest of my life so I just do a bunch of non-kinky things :)
On the kinky side I've been doing bondage as a hobby for about 15 years now. Most of that was spent doing bondage artwork, and then a few years ago I started dabbling in photo and video work. Artwork is enjoyable, but I wanted something real. I found out I really like taking photos. I don't have any training at all, just bought a camera and spent about an hour learning how it worked on Youtube. I guess I'm a semi-pro bondage producer, but I'm not in the same ballpark as those that have made a career of it.
When did you first realize you were into bondage?
When I was very young, I always knew the interest was there. I don't think it came from a particular TV show or anything. It just seemed to always be there. But it probably wasn't until I was 11 or 12 that I think it really manifested. That's when I first did a search online and found out that there was a lot more to all of this than what was seen on TV. That's when it went from a passing fancy to a genuine interest.
How you best describe yourself and why? Your choices are: Dominant, Submissive, Switch or Fuzzy Rainbow Unicorn.
Dominant is probably the closest. I like to tie, and I don't have any sub desires. But I don’t know if I'd qualify as a Dom in any official capacity. I'm a little too silly and non-threatening. I hate my voice because I'm pretty sure I don't sound intimidating in the least. Bondage and all that it goes with it is a lot more about having fun than any sort of power play.
Do you feel that your desire for bondage is more physical or emotional? (please elaborate)
My desire is slightly more emotional because that's where the value comes from. If you take that away, bondage is actually pretty silly. I mean you're talking about a bunch of people who find arousal from tying various amounts of string around people limbs. It's wacky! But I like the physical side a lot too. I don't think you can neglect one and get the most out of it all. Sometimes it just feels good to tie someone up. I've done a lot of drawing, and sometimes I don't even care what I draw, it's just the feeling of holding a pencil that is cool. Kind of the same with bondage.
But yes, the emotional gets the edge because there is a lot of bondage out there that may look amazing, but it's boring because the person is just sitting there. Know what I mean?
Finding a balance between both is where the money's at though because you get more from "and" than you do from "or"!
Were lovers accepting of your interest in bondage?
Nope. Not that I ever revealed it, but even subtle overtures were rejected. It's kind of a bummer but not surprising. I think it's easy to get caught up in something your passionate about and forget that other people may not have any interest in it at all. Just as someone might be really interested in climbing a mountain, which just seems goofy to me! But that's what’s kinda neat about people. We all have different interests.
Please briefly describe your first bondage experience.
You know, I honestly can't remember. I don't have a good memory and I forget lots of things. I do remember "kidnapping" one of my friends. That was a lot of fun, for the most part. My GF and I had just started dating and we were doing that thing new couples do when they spend all their time together. A mutual friend of ours was upset that we were neglecting her so I decided that we should kidnap her. We all worked at the same job, so one day when my GF and I had time off and our friend was working we went near the end of her shift and said we were all going to go out and eat.
We left work and about halfway to my car I threw her up over my shoulder. This was something I'd done with her on many occasions (she liked being carried) so she suspected nothing yet. When we got to my car we threw the kidnapping into action! It was great. She's small, but kind of a spitfire so she wasn't just gonna let us tie her up all easy like. The problem was we did this in an empty parking lot, across the street from a gas station. So someone came over and was none to pleased, which is understandable. Kinda killed the vibe after that, but it was still a lot of fun and we got to remind our friend that she still mattered to us. ince she was happy (maybe it was the pancakes we had afterwards) that's what I remember.
What was your best bondage experience?
I can't think of one singular moment, but I have had some really fun shoots. Does that count? I've never been good at picking out singular moments. Sorry!
What is the most creative safeword you have ever used?
Never had a good safeword. I usually just ere on the side of caution. When I first started doing bondage photography I tried using them but it always felt silly and the models never bothered.
What do you feel is most important about the experience of bondage?
I guess like anything, it's what you take away from it that's important. I feel like I'm in the minority in this, but I don't feel like there's anything particularly unique about the bondage experience. It's just one way of satisfying interests and needs. So what I find is, I enjoy things that I could probably enjoy outside of bondage, it's just that I happen not to. Sometimes I have shoots with models where I get very little done, but I consider great experiences because I had so much fun just hanging out with that person.
Because it's a little outside the normal interests one would have, I think one important thing it offers is a chance for one to step outside themselves. I think it's why I keep it separate from other aspects of my life; having these two paths I can follow allows me to pick and chose, as I need to. There are times when I have no interest in bondage at all so I can do other things and not have to think on it. And there are times when it's totally on my brain, but I don't have to feel to frustrated by that because I have an outlet for it.
If I were to consider something particular to bondage, I think it's the opportunity to explore things that many would consider darker aspects and find out that they're not that bad at all. We're shown quite often that bondage is the realm of people who are either evil and want to do harm to others, or sexual deviants. But in practice it's actually a very fun experience. If you like to tie, it's a chance to explore that sort of power. If you like to be tied it's a chance to give up power you might normally have. There are other ways to do that of course, but bondage is one of the more entertaining ones. At least I think so.
What is the best advice you would give to someone just starting out with BDSM?
Don't be intimidated by it all! If you're unfamiliar with bondage it can seem a little scary. I feel at times that people who have a lot of experience have often done more harm than good. Throwing too much information about what one should and shouldn't do, overwhelming those who are just starting to explore it. To me that seems to be more about someone trying to show how smart they think they are rather than offering sound advice.
So I would say keep it simple. Just try it. Don't worry about trying to do everything all at once! And understand that bondage is like music; BDSM is just one aspect. There are many ways to experience bondage and not everyone has to do it the same way. That's actually been something I've always tried to keep in mind with the stuff I do. I want to show people that this is something that anyone can partake in; it's not exclusive to a certain type of person. And you don't have to turn your life upside down to do so. It's not an either-or kind of thing!
Don't let the negative aspects take over. People warn too much. You're far more at risk crossing a street than you are getting tied up. I can honestly say I have never had a bad experience. I've had some that where... "meh". Like, not interesting. But bad? Nope. But I've had a lot of fun experiences. The best thing I ever did in regards to this was to stop asking for advice and to just start doing it. I stopped worrying about what I didn't know. You don't have to have all of your "I's" and "T's" dotted and crossed day one.
Now take my advice and stop taking advice... Is that a paradox?
What is your favorite gear, toy or lingerie item from sub-shop.com and why?
Hmmm, I dunno if I have a favorite item. I usually recommend the site to people though because I feel there's a lot to offer, especially for people who are just starting out. And to be honest, the site just seems a lot more honest than a lot of bondage shops.
What is the one sensual fantasy you haven’t lived out yet that you are excited to try?
Just one? Hmmm. I'd like to try out rubber/latex and all that jazz. I haven't yet because it's quite expensive, but I think the idea of taking away someone’s identity and turning them into just this sort of... well not object... but just an anonymous person is really cool. And to me rubber/latex and the fetishes around them seem to really do well with that. I think it would be fun to try out.
What’s your favorite knock-knock joke?
Federal law says I'm not allowed to tell jokes. Believe me, that's really best for everyone. :)
What is Eskimo Ice?
Well according to the web search I did, it's an expensive A/C unit costing between $13-21K. Yeesh!