Please tell us a little bit about yourself – How would you be describe your everyday vanilla life?
Everyday vanilla? Nah, everyway a lil’flavor! Nobody would guess my double identity, but few would be surprised. A grown up ex-executive now with a start-up. Living the life. Over educated. Feminist AF. Stupidly lucky. I have a permissive Daddy and a visiting Master, and my own live-in freak, a female sub gifted to me by Daddy.
When did you first realize you were into bondage?
Pre-puberty I created games for myself and school friends that involved pain and exploration. Then I read and re-read ‘kinky’ passages from books … Flowers in the Attic anyone?
How you best describe yourself and why? Your choices are: Dominant, Submissive, Switch or Fuzzy Rainbow Unicorn.
Labels are limiting. Big part of my psyche is exploration and experimentation. I’ll try everything once, maybe twice. At my core I identify as a submissive, but not everyone can make this brat kneel. Does my female sub make me a Domme or a switch? With the lights out, and tied up, I can’t tell who or what it is.
Do you feel that your desire for bondage is more physical or emotional? (please elaborate)
Physical = yes, emotional = not necessarily; but mental = YES. I have no need for romantic emotional attachements. That said, while I can get off on the physical alone, the ultimate is when my my mind is fucked … with or without physical contact … and consummate is when it is two or more minds melding.
What does BDSM mean to you: is it a lifestyle, a diversion, or something else?
I used to consider it a need to be fulfilled, like exercise, then perhaps a hobby where I looked to build a skill and expertise. Now it is more like an identity, perhaps like a nationality; a dual-nationality? It has shaped who I am and I choose it, but it doesn’t define me. For me it is a way of being, not necessarily of living which is more contextual.
Were lovers accepting of your interest in bondage?
I swear I invented kink with a lover! I’ve had both vanilla and kink relationships, but these days kink tends to be a criteria for lovers.
Please briefly describe your first bondage experience.
It was more like wading in than diving in for me. Perhaps then my first time was when I figuratively put my head underwater, giving myself permission to submit and relinguish control, to let my mind float off. That was with my first Daddy who had invested a lot of time in me to build my trust, so when he simply said ‘come here’ I did, and then he did some terribly delicious things to me ;) and I did as I was told, and was called a good girl – and mmmmm so much worse.
What was your best bondage experience?
Being brutally and repeatedly belted beyond my mind. Specifically the slow-mo moment of watching the belt clear the loops of his pants, in frames of film, knowing what was coming – I lived that scene a thousand times before it happened and zillions more since.
What is the most creative safe word you have ever used?
Recently with my female sub I introduced pink before amber (and yes, it must be specifically amber!) in the traffic light system. She was shy about using safe wordsbecause she was so keen to please, so pink is not a real safe word safe word. Yup, I know … but it makes sense to us.
What do you feel is most important about the experience of bondage?
That connection … the amorphous bubble you create together. It is like a dance without a style, music or choreography, where each moves differently, yet together, responding to the other.
What is the best advice you would give to someone just starting out with BDSM?
Be safe. Do you. Start slow. Make friends. … see what I did there ;)
What is your favorite gear, toy or lingerie item from sub-shop.com and why?
The personallized silent night wishes that came with my gags in the holiday season? The red PVC collar and cuffs because Daddy said they looked pretty on me. And I sooooo want those pink ballet boooootsss!
What is the one sensual fantasy you haven’t lived out yet that you are excited to try?
Being an anonymous set of holes … airtight … servitude … the list goes on …
Can crop circles be square?
Even a Dom can’t square a circle … pi is not a square root of a rational polynomial
If you had to be trapped in a tv show for a month, which would you choose and why?
Westworld to do it all! Sex Education to do Gillian Anderson. The Killing to be done by Joel Kinneman.
Is there anything else you would like to share with us such as advice, thoughts or a silly knock-knock jokes? We are all ears and ball gags.
Try everything once, maybe twice. Open your mind … and the rest … well … I just follow. Oh, and get yourself a freak to fetch your morning coffee.
I am looking for an agent for my novel Master M D/s devine FAME.
Get inside my murky mind at https://www.instagram.com/devine_FAME/