Please tell us a little bit about yourself – How would you describe your everyday vanilla life?
Very vanilla and boring. A computer professional by days, and actually very conservative in dress and action.
When did you first realize you were into bondage?
In hindsight, probably about 9 or 10 – but I didn’t know what it was at the time. I remember staying up late on a Saturday night to watch “The Collector” on the midnight movie, just for the bathroom scene.
I remember playing GI Joes/Barbie with the girl around the corner (she was a few years older than me, and a friend of my sister’s), where GI Joe gets aggressive and ties up Barbie. (There were a few times I re-enacted this on my own) Hell – GI Joe was under a lot of stress in those days, and had to make the most of his R&R (in this case, ropes and restraints)
How you best describe yourself and why? Your choices are: Dominant, Submissive, Switch or Fuzzy Rainbow Unicorn.
Probably a Bearded Colorblind Unicorn. I guess more dominant, since I have done the majority of the tying – but I also haven’t found a partner that has much bondage experience.
Do you feel that your desire for bondage is more physical or emotional? (please elaborate)
A little of both, though probably more emotional. I can think of one of my ex-partners being restrained, and get aroused. There needs to be something appealing about the damsel, and I prefer the “romantic restraint” side of bondage (ropes, cleave gags, ball gags, scarves), than I do the more extreme situations, (handcuffs, metal restraints, mechanical restraints).
What does BDSM mean to you: is it a lifestyle, a diversion, or something else?
More a diversion – though I don’t get much opportunity to practice it. Since I’m recently single, I’m looking for a new partner.
Were lovers accepting of your interest in bondage?
In high school and college, a few of my girlfriends consented to mild bondage – generally being tied with bandanas, and maybe a cleave gag.
My ex- and I dabbled a little in the early years, but as her weight increased, bondage became more uncomfortable for her, so we stopped.
My last girlfriend hadn’t experienced bondage (or so she said), and she was initially open to it. I found out a few months ago that she really didn’t like it, and she was only doing it so I didn’t go elsewhere. (She said that she felt it degrading, and how could someone be interested in that?) [For other reasons, we have since split)
Please briefly describe your first bondage experience.
I don’t remember specifics, but only that it was my freshman year in college, the girl was a “good little Catholic girl” who had played tie-up games with a neighbor boy growing up. She seemed to enjoy being tied during foreplay; we never had intercourse, so I can’t comment on it.
What was your best bondage experience?
Probably with my last GF, as we were most experimental compared to previous relationships. She was tied, with body harness, then her hands tied to different points on the harness (her hands could not be tied together). Ball gag, and frog tie.
What is the most creative safeword you have ever used?
Humming The Who’s “Free Me”
What do you feel is most important about the experience of bondage?
Trust in your partner. Not just that they will obey your wishes (if you are the sub), but also that they will be honest with their feelings, and not just “go along” because you enjoy it. My last girlfriend and I were together two years before she told me that she didn’t like it. I actually felt betrayed, because she wasn’t honest with me.
What is the best advice you would give to someone just starting out with BDSM?
Since I’m still quite a novice myself, I don’t have a lot of advice. But I guess I would say talk to your partner – make sure that they are OK with what you are doing. And don’t violate their trust.
What is your favorite gear, toy or lingerie item from sub-shop.com and why?
Haven’t bought much – just rope, a few gags, and a few toys. I got one of the remote-controlled eggs, and thought of my GF having it in while we went out on a date (and I had the remote), but that never happened.
What is the one sensual fantasy you haven’t lived out yet that you are excited to try?
It was actually one that I read from one of the erotic story magazines sold at the convenience store I worked at during college (not being specific, but the store’s name was two prime numbers)
I’m stripped, tied to the chair, and gagged. My GF then begins to tease me as she sees fit, arousing me without taking me over the edge. She strips in front of me, at her own pace. Then she gags herself, mounts me, and then ties her hands (handcuffs or otherwise), then slowly works me until we both climax.
What’s your favorite knock-knock joke?
Howie gonna hide this dead body?
Little boy blue.
Little boy blue who?
(Alright, neither of these were mine. It’s been so long since I told a knock-knock joke, I had to look them up).
What is Eskimo ice?
A rapper from the Aleutian Islands. He’s really Inuit [in to it] .... [ba dum dum]
Is there anything else you would like to share with us such as advice, thoughts or more knock-knock jokes? We are all ears and ball gags.
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, “What – is this a joke?”
For most of my life, I’ve been concerned about people finding out about my interests. I work in a very professional environment, and I’m not sure how it would be received.
About two years ago, I attended my first munch – there weren’t many where I was living previously. I had a very frank conversation with one of the members, outlaying where I was in my life. She listened attentively, and I realized that, while it’s not something I’m looking to advertise, I’m coming to terms with it a little more. During an argument, by ex-GF threatened to tell my family about my interests. I countered with “They will probably tell you it’s none of their business”, and she would probably lose the respect of my family.
Now that I’m single again, I’d like to find someone who is interested in bondage, but it’s something I’m not quite sure how to approach it with someone I meet on one of the vanilla dating sites. I guess it’ll be a lot of coffee dates until I find my damsel in distress.