Meet Nate


Please tell us a little bit about yourself – How would you describe your everyday vanilla life?

I'm an agender college student. My vanilla life consists of studying Computer Science, and trying desperately not to spend too much time on Netflix or reading fanfiction. When I have time and energy, I like to get involved with various social causes, from science promotion to LGBTQA activism.

When did you first realize you were into bondage?

I've been into bondage for as long as I can remember, even before I was really into sex. I remember playing games on the playground in elementary school, trying to get the girls to tie me up with jump ropes. It wasn't until I hit puberty and discovered porn that I even realized it was a sexual thing.

How you best describe yourself and why?  Your choices are: Dominant, Submissive, Switch or Fuzzy Rainbow Unicorn. 

Oh man, I've had a lot of trouble picking a title for myself. I used to think I was exclusively Dominant, then I thought I was exclusively Submissive. At the moment I'm going with "Switch". Guess I'll have to let you know if that changes. :)

Do you feel that your desire for bondage is more physical or emotional?

I know that my interest in bondage is very physical, but I'm not really sure how emotional it might also be. I think, at the moment, it's just a way to have a grand old sexy time, but I also know that some good BDSM can be very helpful emotionally, so we'll see where that goes. :)

What does BDSM mean to you: is it a lifestyle, a diversion, or something else?

BDSM, to me, is a way to introduce another level of intimacy, passion, and trust to a sexual encounter. I don't think I could ever live the lifestyle 24/7 like some people do, but that would largely depend on my partner. I guess it falls mostly under "diversion", although a very, very fun one.

Were lovers accepting of your interest in bondage?

I've had two romantic partners in my short life. The first one was very vanilla, and she just thought I was kind of weird. She did buy me my first pair of handcuffs, and I really appreciate that she didn't try to change me, but BDSM was never something we could've done together.

My current partner is asexual/demisexual, so sex in general is something we're just starting to explore together. As far as kinks go, they're pretty vanilla as well, so it looks like my clamps will have to be self-applied for the time being.

Please briefly describe your first bondage experience.

My first real experience with bondage was pretty tame, and was actually with a close friend of mine in high school. We were both frustratingly single at the time, and sex was a mutual passion of ours, intellectually and otherwise. So we grabbed some handcuffs and had a great time. I was the Bottom in this scenario, and that's been a repeated theme every time I've had a similar encounter.

What was your best bondage experience?

Due to a combination of small sample size and bad luck, my first bondage experience was also my best. Getting it on with friends isn't for everyone, but there was something about the casual level of trust and pure fun that made it so much better for both of us.

What is the most creative safe word you have ever used?

Ooh, do fictional encounters count? I once played an RPG with a pretty good BDSM relationship in it, and the safe word was "katoh". It's a word (from a fictional language) that means "end", but also "achievement". I'm not sure why, but I take that as a challenge, and I find it incredibly sexy. In practice, though, I've only ever used "red" and "yellow". They're simple, intuitive, and don't break the mood as much as "aardvark" or "bananagram".

What do you feel is most important about the experience of bondage?

I think the most important thing about bondage is consent, and along with that comes trust. Consent is of ultimate importance in any sexual situation, but the very nature of bondage makes it even more vital to establish consent clearly. I say that trust goes along with that because agreeing to hand over control of your body to your partner takes an incredible amount of trust, and without that trust, consent is often iffy at best.

What is the best advice you would give to someone just starting out with BDSM?

My advice to someone starting out in BDSM is to get involved in the community. Find the local kinksters on FetLife or wherever they may be, and go to some munches. Get to know the people, especially the local "leaders", before you go crazy asking to get tied up and whipped. Thinking that getting into the community always involves actually taking part in bondage is the main thing that got in my way early on. I was too nervous to show up to any of the events for a long time, and then I was too excited to deal with how normal everything was. Take it slow, and be yourself.

What is your favorite gear, toy or lingerie item from and why?

That's a tough one... I'm going to have to go with my CB-6000S chastity device. I've never stuck with long-term use like some people, but for a few days, or even a week, it's a great way to keep yourself in a sexy sub-space 24/7. Although make sure you can afford the constant distraction. Don't go putting one on right before final exams. ;)

What is the one sensual fantasy you haven’t lived out yet that you are excited to try?

I'm really excited to try out a Mistress (or Master) & slave dynamic, even just for one scene - probably involving ropes, cuffs, and my trusty CB-6000S. Tease and denial is a frustrating fetish to have, but someone’s gotta do it, right? ;)

What’s your favorite knock-knock joke?

Knock knock.

Who's there?

The Doctor.

Doctor Who?

No, just the Doctor.

Alright, maybe it's not that funny, but you asked for it. I guess that's one more reason I'm usually better off gagged. ;P

What is Eskimo ice?

A sex move involving a leather bit gag and some intense temperature play?


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