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On The Hunt: Finding Your Submissive

Looking for a submissive to share your kinks is a process. Once you know what you want, how to achieve those goals, and what you want in a partner/relationship, it’s time to actively look for one. And in order to look for someone, you first need to approach them.

There are plenty of people online out there who will probably fit the model you are looking for, so you need to know how to introduce yourself and how to approach them. Be clear about what you want and what are looking for; always be upfront and honest since the very start. Relationships will always need to be built on trust, no matter the nature of them.

Trust is one of the most important things, especially in BDSM relationships. The submissive must place absolute and complete trust on the dominant for this to work. The dominant will exercise the power, but a) that respect must be earned and b) power comes only after the submissive allows for the power to be exercised over them.

Once you have a potential partner, you need to discuss boundaries and hard limits. This involves negotiating the terms of what they are willing to do and what they are not willing to do. Those limits should never be crossed and the dominant should accept those restrictions without judgment and without wanting to change them. The core of BDSM is consent, and if you step over the line you will be grossly violating your partner and everything BDSM stands for. In other words, simply don’t do it wink*

With a little bit of patience, eagerness to try new things, and respecting your partner, you can have a great experience and relationship with your submissive. Everything is a learning process and no one knows everything, there’s always room for improvement. 

If you are really lost or simply don’t know where to start, look for your local BDSM group. Or look for a BDSM community online. The community is incredibly supportive and they are willing to help and guide anyone who needs it and asks for it. With some time, you will become a great dominant!