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The Collaring Ceremony Checklist


Time has passed, the relationship between dominant and submissive has gone so well you have decided to make it official: a collaring ceremony will take place to symbolize your commitment and love to one another. Congratulations sweetheart! But…Now what? As with any event, you will need to go over some points, so here a few items to think about:

  • Where and when will the ceremony take place? Will it be at home, a rented place outside? Or somewhere else’s house? Maybe a hall? Discuss with your partner where do you want to do it.
  • Will you be officiating the ceremony or do you want somebody else to do it? If you have someone in mind, ask them as soon as you can (usually after you have booked a date). These kind of things take preparation, so you want to ask them in advance.
  • How will the ceremony be? You can make it something a bit more traditional and classic, like a wedding or something more alternative. New Age? Gothic? A mix of different styles? Just keep in mind it should reflect you as a couple.
  • What time will the ceremony be? If it’s at night, how will the lighting be? Will there be candles?
  • How about the decoration of the ceremony? Will there be any flowers or any other decorations? The dominant and the submissive will be sitting down? Where will the guests be placed?
  • The collaring ceremonies can have different elements, what will yours be? How many of them? What will they symbolize? Where can you get them and who will bring them to the ceremony?
  • Will you have a collar bearer? If not, where will the collar be?
  • Will the collar be something the submissive will wear in public, on daily bases or will it be something just for the ceremony?
  • What kind of music will you have during the ceremony? Figure out the logistics about how the music will be played depending of the place where the ceremony will take place.
  • Will someone bring the submissive to the dominant? The dominant will enter alone or someone will be with them? If so, also ask them in advance.
  • Figure out the dress code for the ceremony and discuss what you two will be wearing. Will it be a tuxedo and a long dress? Or maybe the attire for both of you will be leather? Or silk? Naked? For the ladies, how will you do your hair and make up? Will the submissive carry something?
  • Will the submissive wear any jewelry?
  • What will the dominant say in the ceremony? What will the submissive say?
  • Will you have a party afterwards? A dinner? A toast? The aftermath can be as simple or as elaborate as you want.
  • If you are unsure about the procedures, ask someone who has had a collaring ceremony for any advice. If you don’t know anyone, Internet will be your best friend wink*.

Although your ceremony can be as you like, generally the progression of a collaring goes a little bit like this: if someone is officiating the ceremony, they will enter the room, greet and thank the attendants for their presence. The dominant will enter, either alone or with somebody else and will take their place. If there are some guests that will participate in the ceremony, they will enter one by one and if they are carrying an element, they will put it where it belongs and then they will take their place. Afterwards, the submissive will enter, again, either alone or with somebody else. The joining will take place just as they decided, either holding hands, with the submissive kneeling or whatever way they have chosen. The ceremony will then take place as both parties decided: the officiant might talk about the meaning and importance of the collar, both parties can speak about their feelings, intentions and expectations for the union and then the vows can be exchanged. Later, the collar will be passed as was previously decided; the dominant will place the collar around the submissive. Then, they can kiss and the celebration can follow. Congratulations and happy union!