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Why “Good Girls” Secretly Love Bondage

 

I was always brought up with the idea, “good girls don’t do that.”  Whether it be kissing on the first date, cheating on an Algebra test, going in the 10 items or less line with 11 items, Good Girls just Don’t.  We are taught by our parents and by society that if you are a good girl you don’t have any sexual types or thoughts or feelings.  You are just supposed to be good and do what you are told.  Especially if it means putting someone else first.  A good girl would never dare dream of putting her sexual satisfaction out there. 

But I am here to tell you, it’s all a lie.  Good girls like sex.  Not only that, but most of the good girls I know tend to love bondage sex.  Why?  Because having erotic bondage sex allows us to finally lose ourselves.  When we are blindfolded, we are not looking at the laundry we have to fold, or the text book we need to study for our exam on.  When we are bound so tightly yet deliciously in soft bondage rope, our thought can only be on the sweet and sensuous torture which lay ahead of us.

Even with the promise of erotic delight and intense multiple orgasms, BDSM or bondage is a topic that some women still shy away from. Whether this is because they are uncomfortable talking about bondage or even sex with their lover or the preconceived idea that it’s something that good girls don’t do. However our sexuality has nothing to do with our moral code.  Our sexual is that.  Our own. As woman we must claim our sexuality and step forward into controlling our own sexual destiny.  Why keep your keep your hottest bondage sexual fantasies only that – a fantasy?  Sure, it’s nice to think about but wouldn’t it be much better to have a scorching hot bondage sexual tryst memory to look back upon and smile about.  And if you do it right, smile about it for on the front porch.  It’s because she is thinking of all the fun times she had.  And doesn’t that just explain the little glimmer in her eye. *wink*

Getting back to basics, for those who are unfamiliar with the term, BDSM stands for years to come.  Why do you think grandma is so happy when she is sitting in her rocker Bondage & Discipline, Sadism & Masochism. This erotic sexual expression usually involves sexual dominance on the part of either partner while the other one remains sexually submissive throughout the whole act. Most people think that men act as the sexual dominant and the lady sexually submissive or if you are into romance novels, the role of the sexually tamed damsel in erotic distress. But the good news is, it could be the other way around and this might be the reason why bondage tickles the fancies of most women.

Your sexuality has nothing to do with the type of person you are.  Just because the idea of erotically bound and dominated or having the sexual desire to erotically bind and play with your lover doesn’t mean anything about yourself.  Other than you a creative and free thinking individual.  So often as good girls, we chide ourselves on what we should or more importantly shouldn’t be doing.  We tend to put others needs in front of our own.  We say we can’t do certain things because it just isn’t right. 

But sexual expression is a form of freedom.  And by allowing yourself to freely express yourself sexually, you are in essence allowing your full and true self to come forward.  So often being a good girl is about doing the right thing.  But good sex isn’t that black and white.  And great, amazing sex tends to involve ball gags, some soft bondage rope and maybe some leather straps.

I know I myself struggled with this.  The feeling of good girls don’t do that kind of thing was overwhelming at first.  But I also knew what I was and what my secret desires were.  I knew that I could not live vanilla.  I had always desired to be different.  To break out of my good girl shell and to be something more.  And most importantly to experience something more. 

Being a good girl puts a lot of strain and pressure on you.  You give yourself these high expectations of always having things under control and that doing the right thing. Your sexuality is the secret part of you that belongs to just you and there is no right or wrong. By allowing yourself to express your secret bondage desires, you are allowing a part of your spirit to be free.  You are unleashing the chains of what you feel “should be” and coming into the magical erotic possibilities of what “could be”.  All because you chose to let yourself go.

You might be saying to yourself, “if that is true then why do I feel so alone”?  I can assure you, you are not.  The majority of woman (and men) into bondage are just like you. Upstanding, bright, capable and in control.  They pay their taxes on time, do the carpool, volunteer at their kid’s school and are the nice neighbor you absolutely love.  Oh wait, that’s me.  But hey, that’s also you! And that’s also most of the people you will meet in the world.

It’s not only okay for you to like bondage, it’s great for you to love it!  You don’t have to always be in control and you can still be the good girl while being a naughty girl in the bedroom.  By letting yourself be free, you are giving yourself sexual permission to explore and enjoy.  And isn’t that what life is all about?  Yes, good girls and amazing woman love bondage.  And if you are one – I applaud you.  Enjoy and feast upon all the sexual and sensual delights of it.  Let yourself go and explore, enjoy and lose yourself in the headiness of it all.  The laundry will still be there, you will still make the carpool and your work report will still get done – you will just be a lot happier now doing them.   

In the immortal words of Nicki Minaj – “I’ve seen some good girls and I’m gonna turn them out.”