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Why Having Bad Sex is Your Own Damn Fault…


Have you ever been to Disney World? I have and it’s AMAZING! To get there, you day dream about it, you save your pennies, wait with anticipation and finally there is the magical moment when you first walk into the park and it’s FREAKIN’ AWESOME. You can help but smile and hum It’s a Small World After All. You dance with Snow White at the parade and marvel at the nightly fireworks. You are so happy to be there, not even the three year old in line ahead of you screaming for an hour at the Peter Pan ride can take the smile of your face. And then you look around ….and you start to notice….wait a minute….not everybody is smiling.

And I started to think, “wait, what….you seriously can’t be happy at the happiest place on earth”? There were teenagers with scowls, parents who looked like they needed a nap, kids who you know needed a nap and then…there was….crabby old people. As in, they may not have been exactly old, but their demeanor reminded me of my Aunt Flora and no one ever should remind anyone of my Aunt Flora. Ever. (and don’t think I’m not enjoying referring to her on my blog about sex….*happy sigh*….ahhh….)

So, why on the happiest place on earth are there so many crabby people? Maybe it’s late, maybe they are tired, and maybe it’s a lot of noise or too many lines….or perhaps they just have a really bad wedgie. But for whatever reason….they are UNHAPPY AT THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH! And I can’t help but wonder…why….and what they are doing about it….

When you have sex, it’s kind of the same process as going to Disney World. You can day dream about it, wait with anticipation and when the magical moment is there….umm….not so magical. Okay, so it happens. It happens to everyone but here is my questions *get ready for bad Sean Connery impression*, “What are you prepared to do about it?” Are you going to bring a knife to a gunfight or are you going to get involved and take responsibility for your sex life? There is always….the Chicago Way….

How to Have Sex Chicago Sean Connery...

Do you have a favorite sex fantasy that you want to act out with your lover but you are too shy? If so, that’s on you. Do you like it when you your partner does or says something special but you never speak up? That one’s on you too. Sex is like a great vacation. You have to take responsibility for it. No one just hands you a multiple orgasm in sex, you have to work for them. Sometimes with your hand. Sometimes it takes two hands and some really good lube.

Sex is the ultimate happy fun place playground. What you do is your choice. What you experience is your choice. You can’t just lay there and expect something great to happen. You have to be active and participate. You have to speak up and let your desires be known. You can just wait, wish and hope your sex life will get better. That’s entirely up to you.

Autumn's Irrelevant P.S. - Did you know that the two most common days to have sex are on Sunday and Wednesday.  So, I suppose that really does make Wednesday - Hump Day and that must also be the origins of "And Twice on Sunday".  Three times if you are lucky. *wink*