Becoming the Dominatrix You are Meant to Be

Being more dominant in your sex life is more than just OK, it’s actually encouraged! There is something about having all the power and being in control that is completely exhilarating. You will not only have fun, but will end up being more comfortable with yourself and being more assertive…even in other areas of your life wink*

The first thing you need to do is to some research. You want to investigate as much as you can about the subject and clear any doubts you may have. There are a lot of things behind this, not just “instruct my commands” and holding a whip. Keep in mind domination can be physical, sexual, physiological, verbal or demanding. You will choose to focus on specific things, but you need to know what you are doing first.

One of the most common aspects about this is the pain/pleasure you need to inflict on someone. It’s not just to torture someone or having him or her experience pain, this experience also needs to arouse them at the same time or at the very least, be somewhat pleasing for them. Learning where that line stands and can you do these things will be part of the learning process.

And that brings me to the creation of your character. It will be best if you model your dominatrix persona into someone you know, a pop culture character, a literary reference…compose your persona based on characteristics you like and feel you can have.This will also help you get into character; when you know exactly what you’re aiming for and who you will be becoming, things will flow much easier.

And even though you will be a dominant, you will still need to discuss things with your partner. Part of being a dominant means caring for your submissive and being attentive to their needs. You will need to be aware of their feelings and closely monitor them to see if they are enjoying the experience. Is your job as a dominant to guide them thorough the experience. This will be imperative for them to have a good experience.

And a safe experience not only includes being aware of their reactions, but being clear about a safe word as well. You must stop at any chance they mention the word, no questions asked. If they will be gagged and can’t speak, make sure to use a particular hum or a sign of some sort for you to understand everything must stop. Those who do not play safe do not have fun!