Meet Kaydel

Please tell us a little bit about yourself – How would you describe your everyday vanilla life?

I like to think I'm a fairly typical guy. I work a steady 9-to-5 job as a software engineer, spend a lot of time with both family and friends, and try to squeeze in time for a variety of different hobbies while trying to keep the house from falling to pieces.

When did you first realize you were into bondage?

I've actually enjoyed being tied up since I was a little kid. I vaguely remember playing some game with my siblings where I ended up tied to a pole, and that launched me into finding all sorts of ways to get tied up. But I didn't connect that interest to bondage properly until later when I was looking for a costume and stumbled across a website that had a bondage toy section. I perused through that section for a bit, saw more than a few things that intrigued me, and just like that I was hooked. Bondage has been a fairly substantial interest of mine ever since.

How you best describe yourself and why? Your choices are: Dominant, Submissive, Switch or Fuzzy Rainbow Unicorn.

I could probably be a Switch if I found the right person, but I would say that I'm definitely more of a Submissive than anything else because, while I tend to take control as often as I can in life, I don't really enjoy being in control. However, I do really enjoy when other people step into that role so that I don't have to. And when it comes to bondage, I'd much rather be on the receiving end than the giving end. I haven't found any feeling quite as amazing as placing myself fully into someone else's control.

Do you feel that your desire for bondage is more physical or emotional? (please elaborate)

This is a tough question. There is definitely a physical aspect to my desire for bondage. It's fairly addicting in the best possible way to be involved in bondage play. But for me, I think the desire is primarily emotional. Like I said, I usually try to be as totally in control of every situation as I can possibly be, but that's so very exhausting after a while. Bondage is a fantastic way for me to take a break from that role and let someone else step into it. It's a way for me to recharge emotionally and mentally, as odd as that may sound.

What do you feel is most important about the experience of bondage?

Well, bondage is a great way for a couple to strengthen their relationship. I think many people might say something about trust and/or communication between the Dom/me and Sub being of the utmost importance. And I don't think there is any question that those two things are vital to a good bondage experience. But, and I think this is especially true for more intense bondage sessions, the bondage experience should include a sort of cool down period afterward to allow the Dom/me and Sub to just be close together emotionally and physically, bond, and reinforce their shared love and care for each other.

What is the best advice you would give to someone just starting out with BDSM?

My best advice might probably be something like this: don't throw yourself into the deep end, so to speak. Start off with simple and light bondage and/or toys and avoid anything that makes you feel uncomfortable at all. You should enjoy your BDSM experiences, and when you're starting out it can be difficult to enjoy an experience when you are uncomfortable. I think that's true regardless of what BDSM role you're stepping into. As you get more and more comfortable with things, though, don't be afraid to branch out and try new things!

What is your favorite gear, toy or lingerie item from sub-shop.com and why?

I have not been unhappy with anything that I've ever purchased from sub-shop.com. However, my favorite toy is probably the Black Balled chastity cage. It's easily the most comfortable off-the-shelf chastity device I've ever used, and it's highly effective at accomplishing its intended purpose. It does admittedly have some drawbacks, but I think that's to be expected with any off-the-shelf device. Overall, though, it's almost a pleasure to wear. Almost.

What's your favorite knock-knock joke?

I haven't heard a knock-knock joke in years, but I do remember one that gave me a chuckle:

Knock knock?

Who's there?

Cows go.

Cows go who?

No, silly. Cows go moo!