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All You Need to Do to Safely Dominate Your Lover

When you have a new submissive, you need to discuss the boundaries and hard limits with them. And before you even start discussing limits, you need to make sure the relationship will head in the same way you two are expecting. A relationship will not work unless you both want the same things.

Now, before you start practicing BDSM, you need to make sure you know what you’re doing. Everything involving this equipment will have some degree of danger, so you need to be careful. Basically it all boils down to being confident about what you will be doing; practicing safety measures and knowing the techniques are all part of this.

Something else you need to figure out is the safe word. Safe words will signify all play must stop immediately, no questions asked. The word you use will need to be one you can easily remember and one that cannot be confused with other during play. This means safe words like “stop” for instance, are not a good idea because they can be commonly used during play.

Some people like to use two words: one that signifies play must stop and other that means play is reaching to that point where the sub may not be able to handle. In that case, the dom will stop, talk and calm the sub, and then will ask if they want to resume play or want to stop completely. Safe words are necessary for the well being on the sub, so they are necessary.

If you will be using a gag, you need to figure out something else as a sign because the sub won’t be able to speak. It’s a good idea to settle on a hum or a tapping sequence as a sign. Whatever you do, just make sure to practice it so you two can know exactly what it is.

Usually the first dates or first meetings, will take place on public places. The sub must let a friend know where they will be and at what time said meeting will end. Sometimes said friend will usually call when the meeting is done to check on the sub. That is why it’s a good idea to time these meetings so you can both know when it’s time to end it. If you want to extend it, just let the sub call the friend and let them know everything is fine. These are safety measures necessary to protect everyone involved.

And finally, remember that aftercare is completely important and a must after each scene. The sub is probably coming down from the “sub-space” or at the very least, will be vulnerable. As the dominant, it’s your job to take care of them until they have returned to normal. This period is also a part of BDSM scenes and will actually be enjoyable for both the sub and the dom.

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