If you are really serious about enjoying your BDSM activities, or just want to be able to “escape” into a special place where you can leave the real world outside, the ideal scenario is to create your own playroom, if at all possible. Obviously, this may not be an option if you have limited space—but don’t automatically rule it out without at least considering your options. Do you have a guest room? A bedroom that was used by kids or other family members who have since moved out? Do you have an office or den that you don’t use very often?
If you have a finished attic or basement, that could also be an option. Depending on the type of activities you will be engaging in and exactly what type of BDSM style you choose, an unfinished or semi-finished area may also be okay, and may, in fact, help set the feeling you want to create. For example, a “dungeon” type area complete with suspension cross or restraints may be compatible with cinder block walls and other basic, primitive surroundings.
Creating a new playroom from scratch allows you to customize it exactly the way you want, with your tastes and preferences, and your partner’s, in mind. You could also do this secretly, and surprise your partner with the big reveal once the playroom is completed.
A separate playroom can offer many advantages. First, this will obviously be a room just for adult play. Having a specific room dedicated solely for this purpose allows you to design it to fulfill your sexual needs perfectly. You have total freedom to be the sexpert interior decorator!
It also eliminates distractions and unsexy elements that can be a turnoff, such as work-related items or kids’ toys. Every single item—furniture, decorative elements, toys, scents, sounds, etc.—in this room can be carefully chosen with your pleasure (or pain) in mind. You have the opportunity to go all out and create the ultimate playroom, limited only by your imagination (and perhaps your budget). This is your chance to make your fantasies come to life, right in your very own home.
You can also ensure total privacy by keeping this room off-limits to others. You may need to keep it locked to keep others out. If you get a lot of company or have nosy relatives, be prepared for curiosity and questions about this “secret room.” You may need to come up with a cover story if you don’t want people to know the truth.
One big advantage of having a dedicated playroom is that it clearly establishes this as a place where your BDSM roles and rules are in effect. By coming through the door, you shed your outside roles and instantly become Dom and Sub, or whatever titles you assign yourselves. This can be especially helpful in creating the symbolic line of separation, which defines your dominant/submissive roles as strictly for sex—they don’t carry over into your everyday life. By entering the playroom, you will mentally transition to those BDSM roles.
Just knowing you have a “sex room” can be a mental turn-on. This is a luxury most people don’t have, and it makes you feel special and privileged. It also makes you feel like a wild, exotic, sexual creature who isn’t limited by everyday conventions. After all, boring people who have ho-hum sex lives don’t have X-rated sex rooms with all sorts of shocking toys and equipment, right? Even if you didn’t already feel confident and fearless at the thought of starting (or stepping up) a BDSM arrangement, this room is bound to bring out your wilder side. Just the fact that this special space exists will make you want to make good use of it. You wouldn’t want all that work you put into it to go to waste now, would you? This may give you added motivation to put some energy into creating some memorable moments in this special playroom of yours.
Even if you don’t have a huge empty room at your disposal, do whatever you can to create a “sensual space” somewhere in your home. It’s okay to start small, if you have to. Just get something in place while you make plans for something bigger and better.