How to Gag Your Lover

Nothing like a title that garners attention is there? Ha! I can just see men jumping into this while muttering things like "I already know plenty of ways to gag my girl."

Sorry to disappoint fellas, this isn't that kind of article. *wink* Well, maybe a little. But that's not what we are talking about here. We are talking about the real deal. Gagging. Ball gags. Regular gags. A handkerchief. It doesn't matter. The point is to silence her during a fun role playing encounter. And no, you can't just silence her for your own peace. It doesn't work that way.

Those of us into BDSM and bondage understand the importance of gags in the experience. Not everyone into domination and submission will take it to that level, but for those that do it is a necessity to do it correctly. At the least, a mistake could ruin the mood. At the worst, you could hurt her.

First let's tackle some basic guidelines for gagging:

Take it easy

Try and remember that you and your mate are enjoying a mutually agreeable role playing moment of intimacy together. You aren't going to lock her in a basement and hold her hostage while you torture her daily. Unless you are both into that, in which case ignore me. You want to gag her, but in a sensual and methodical way. You don't want to stuff something into her mouth, choke her and make her miserable.

Make sure that its clean

As many commercials suggest, nobody wants a dirty mouth. Since items used for gagging are often used for other things or at the very least, used often; it's important to make sure that they are clean. Keeping them put away doesn't make them clean. No one wants a mouthful of dust, dirt, germs or even scents. It can be overpowering and lead to a quick departure from the evening's plans.

Make sure she's willing

Sometimes even avid BDSM participants have boundaries. Just because a guy or girl likes bondage, doesn't mean she wants to be gagged. Keep this in mind and don't surprise her without knowing it's okay. Communication is key.

Make sure she can breathe

It seems like common sense, but that would be assuming that mistakes can't happen. And they do. So make sure that she's breathing fine before you turn away and leave her gagged. But I'm guessing you will be hard pressed to turn away from them at all! *wink*

I'm guessing at this point you are disappointed. Not only was I not talking about your idea of gagging the girl, I haven't even given you much beyond simple rules. Don't worry. Now we are going to discuss the best way to carryout your plan.

Make it sensual

The key to BDSM, gagging, bondage, discipline and all that it entails is that its an act of intimacy. It's not violent. It's not scary. It's the thrill of handing over total control of yourself to someone else, or being the one in control. You want trust. You want commitment. You want a desire to submit to you. It isn't about the sex, it's about the intimacy and the thrill. To keep that momentum alive, make sure the act of gagging her a sensual one. It should excite her the same way it does you.

Talk to her

The key is that she is unable to speak. They are being sensually being silenced by their ball gag. It's another act of submission for them. If you speak to her in a calm and controlled tone, about the act itself or what you have planned or what your expectations of them; you will drive home the effect that you are aiming for.

Be gentle

It sounds funny to say that. Be gentle as you stuff something in their mouth to keep them quiet. But you want to push the idea of a powerful, but gentle, lover. You are in control. You are dominating her. She is going to be bound and gagged. But you will please her. You will care for her. You will make her happy.

Bind her

Some people prefer to one before the other and have a systematic way it happens. It doesn't matter the order you choose, but if you are going to gag your girl or guy then make sure to bind her hands as well. The two go hand in hand to create the mood.

Let her feel your skin

Run your hand along her jawline. brush your fingertips across her cheek. It doesn't matter how you do this. She is being bound and gagged. She is submitting. She is not able to react and touch you. This will be a longing on her mind. She will also be awaiting your touch. Each of them. Giving her a simple taste of what may come is enough to create desire.