5 Top Tips for Safer BDSM Scenes
The main concern within the BDSM community is to make sure no one gets hurt during the sessions. It mostly refers to submissive partners since they are the ones who are meant to entertain and satisfy their dominant sexually. Even so, the safety aspects should concern everyone involved. So the risks, if they exist, are kept at a minimum. However, even if the risks are kept under control, the excitement and the mystery of an unknown territory should still be present in a good BDSM scene.
1. Learn to accept the word “no” and be comfortable saying it as well.
It is important for both partners to respect each other’s boundaries and understand we all have our limits. Especially during the negotiation time before the BDSM scene begins. Both participants should be okay with using the word “no” in relation to an action they are uncomfortable with. Likewise, accept when their partner refuses to perform a certain sexual practice. It is important not to take it personally and understand what is off limits now might be allowed later on as you dive further into BDSM practices and fetishes.
2. Establish a safety word
Safety words are a must. It is a crucial aspect to having a successful BDSM experience. Talk with your partner and establish a word you wouldn’t use at all during a sexual encounter like “red” or “unicorn,” whatever you two decide. During the BDSM scene, if one of you feel uncomfortable with the activities taking place or feels disrespected, hurt or abused by what is more than acceptable then use the safety word. In doing so, your partner will change the course of actions and return the sexual encounter to a balanced level of mutual comfort and excitement. For instance, you can use the safety word when you are being whipped too hard or when your nipple clamps system is too tight for you and it creates more pain than pleasure.
3. Don’t be too goal orientated
We all want to reach an orgasm and we all want sexual stimulation. But don’t lose the enjoyment of the BDSM journey by setting your mind and body on such a high goal. Sexual satisfaction and orgasm should be more of a natural outcome resulting from the practices performed during a bondage scene. You might lose a lot of the excitement along the way if you only care for the final prize!
4. Do only what you want to do
This is not a time to sacrifice your well-being for the sake of your partner. While certain compromises might be necessary to have a great BDSM scene, make sure you stick with what turns you on. Moreover, choose to engage only in practices you want to do and are comfortable doing. If one of the partners doesn’t enjoy the BDSM scene, chances are the other one will not get what they need and aspire for either. It is a team work and you have to find what makes both of you happy together.
5. Have an after sex talk
When the BDSM session is over, the sexual encounter doesn’t just end like a “mission completed” kind of game. The mission is completed successfully only when both partners are brought back to a loving mood and feel respect for one another. If you had a tough BDSM scene, you might want to cuddle with your slave, kiss them and make sure they feel loved and cherished by you. Take this opportunity to discuss the practices you performed during the BDSM scene and see how you feel about them. Consider which ones you should repeat as well as those you should not try again. It is a way to get to know each other sexually and make your future BDSM scenes better over time.
