Anal Play and Anal Sex in BDSM

Anal play involves the pleasurable stimulation of the anal area without engaging in penetrative sex. It is a common practice in BDSM sex-play and generally considered taboo by vanilla-sex standards. However, the forbidden element is what makes it more exciting.

A strong reminder about anal play: whatever touches the anal area—whether it is a finger or a sex toy—should never make contact with the vagina. Such contact can cause serious urinary tract infections in women. Anal play requires cleanliness and since the anal area does not have natural lubrication, it requires the use of an artificial lubricant. But watch out for anal lubricants containing “desensitizing” ingredients. You need to feel what’s going on, as discomfort is your body’s way of protecting itself.

To initiate anal play, a male dominant can restrain his submissive in a preferred position and perform oral sex until her arousal builds—a partner who is turned on may be more receptive to experimenting with this type of sex-play. Apply gentle pressure to the anus with a lubricated finger, vibrator or anal probe, perhaps letting just the very tip slip inside. If he wishes, he can penetrate her and begin to thrust as he continues to apply pressure to her anus. The novelty of the act for him, and the sensation for her, can intensify orgasm for both.

A female dominant who wants to initiate anal play can restrain her male submissive and perform oral sex until he is erect and aroused. She can then slip a vibrator under his body to press against and stimulate his anal area as she continues to fellate him, whether to climax or until she wants to do something different.

Prostate massage is the most pleasurable aspect of anal play for many men. The prostate gland is part of the male urinary and reproductive systems. Located just below the bladder, it plays a role in the production of semen and ejaculation. You can stimulate the prostate can externally by pressing or massaging the perineum, the small area extending from behind the scrotum to the anus, to create a deep pleasurable sensation.

To perform prostate stimulation on her submissive, the female dominant can restrain him in the spread-eagle position then perform oral sex until he is erect. With the knuckles of one hand, she can press against the perineum as she fellates him, while gently squeezing his scrotum with her other hand. She may want to press a vibrator against the perineum to add an extra buzz to the experience.

Anal Sex

Anal sexual penetration can be an enjoyable experience for both women and men, particularly for those in the BDSM scene. Many women enjoy double penetration—simultaneous penetration of the vagina and anus—by their partner’s penis and a sex toy. Men enjoy both the novel, taboo element of anal sex as well as the tightness around their shaft.

It is less common for heterosexual men to allow themselves to be anally penetrated. However, those who are game to try might consider anal probes, butt plugs and strap-on dildos. Many anal probes are designed for internal prostate stimulation, which, when performed in unison with fellatio, can result in a surprisingly powerful orgasm for men.

Slow, sure and slick is the game plan when incorporating anal sex into BDSM sex-play. Take things slowly and cautiously at first, keeping an open channel of communication between partners and remembering your limits and safe word. Using plenty of anal lubricant without a desensitizer is essential. Plus, there must be no contact or transference of germs between the anus and the vagina. Those new to anal sex should rely on fantasy elements to bring a sense of domination and submission to the experience—avoid using bondage and restraints until both partners are experienced and comfortable with this type of sex-play.

When partners are familiar and at ease with anal sex, then they can begin to include other elements of BDSM into it such as bondage. You can also bring anal sex toys into play. Probes and vibrators can be used in a phallic sense to penetrate and withdraw, while butt plugs and anal beads remain in place to produce a constant sense of pleasurable fullness. A female dominant can use a strap-on dildo to punish and penetrate her male submissive. On the other hand, a male dominant may instruct his female submissive to fellate a dildo as a form of mild erotic humiliation or to masturbate herself with it for his viewing pleasure.