The pressure of a good first date can be overwhelming. After all, you want it to be perfect. You want to create a special connection with someone you like so you are hopeful it will end in a relationship. Probably the most important element to remember is to have enough confidence in yourself and the experience.
You cannot fake chemistry but you can work on your confidence. Although if you already have good chemistry with someone, then half the battle is won. The other part you can work on involves creating a good first impression. Think about how everything should go (ideally) and what kind of questions you should ask.
First impressions are important, but they should be completely natural. The chemistry comes in on its own, so don’t act as something you are not. You should never act in a certain way just because you think your date will find it attractive. Always be yourself. Honesty should always be the first element in your relationship, no matter what. You want your partner to like you for who you really are. Otherwise, problems could come up later on if you are dishonest since the beginning. Being open and honest are essential for a good relationship.
Before your date, it is best to prepare yourself both physically and mentally. This could actually make the difference between a good date and a bad date. If you are not in the right state of mind, then you may not be the best version of yourself. Likewise, it is important to put some effort in the way you look. I’m not talking about going overboard and dolled up for the occasion but simply taking good care of yourself. For instance, take a shower, brush your teeth, comb your hair and put on some clean clothes. Presenting your best version can have a big impact on your possible partner. Think about it, what would you prefer— for your date to arrive with crumpled clothes, a hangover and disheveled hair or in clean clothes and looking like they care enough to be presentable?
It is also advisable to make some time for your date. This means if your date is at 7:00 pm avoid making other plans for 10:00 pm. It is extremely insulting to your date because it looks as if you want it to end soon or simply don’t care much for the occasion. So, don’t put a time limit on the date instead clear your schedule and don’t rush it. Ideally, you would schedule first dates on a Friday or Saturday, so you can take as long as you’d like. Besides, you never know if you will get lucky on your first encounter.
This leads me to being present, that is, in the moment. Your date will go better if your partner feels as if you are actually there with them — paying attention and trying to create a connection. This means no texting, making follow up questions, talking about yourself too much, not making visual contact and showing general interest. Don’t keep the conversation one-sided. Of course, don’t talk about past relationships and avoid anything too personal.
Remember good first dates involve some planning. The key is to make an effort. You can go out for drinks or a nice dinner. Likewise, you could go to a concert, a comedy show or even a play then plan for dinner and some other fun activity afterward.
Before I finish, so who pays for the whole thing? Well, generally, whoever made the invitation would pick up the tab. But, of course, things could change depending on what works for the two of you in particular. Just keep in mind, this is the 21st century and nothing is written in stone.
