Please tell us a little bit about yourself β How would you describe your everyday vanilla life?
Mild-mannered superhero by day and twisted rope-wielding super-villain by night. Just kidding. I work fire/rescue/paramedic. (There must be something about this line of work that seems to attract quite a few people who like to play with rope and gags.) Dana, my wife is a nurse. We live what we believe to be a fairly normal life. We have jobs, kids, try to stay fit, host barbeques and have neighbors who would be very surprised and hopefully envious of our kinky playroom. (Why, not? The kids have a playroom, why can't we?)
When did you first realize you were into bondage?
Greg-I first caught on to how great B&D is when I had playfully tied a college girlfriend over an ottoman. She went wild. Being dorm rooms are not that sound-proofed we quickly learned about gags, panties work in a pinch. It was an incredibly erotic experience to bring that much pleasure to someone who just submitted to you. Dana - my first experience came after losing a bet to Greg when we were first dating and getting her hands tied behind my back on our way to a nightclub. It was late evening and I was still very visible in our car. While we were on the interstate highway, Greg unbuttoned my blouse and teased and caressed me in all sorts of fun places. I got really turned on by not being able to resist and by the chance of being discovered by another driver, especially the guys in the 18 wheeler. I squirmed so much in my seat my already short skirt had ridden revealingly high on my thighs. I always had an exhibitionistic side to my personality and I suppose that is why I like short skirts and thongs. Before I always kept my exhibitionism in check but being tied meant I had no control over it. I was helpless and loving it. It really turned me on. And now to possibly be seen tied-up was a great revelation and I was hooked...or tied. My earliest recollection of being aware of bondage was the movie, 9 1/2 Weeks with Kim Bassinger back in the 1990s. That was the first time I ever made the connection of being tied up and sex.
How you best describe yourself and why? Your choices are: Dominant, Submissive, Switch or Fuzzy Rainbow Unicorn.
A perfect dominant/submissive couple.
Do you feel that your desire for bondage is more physical or emotional? (please elaborate)
While the bondage itself is physical, the whole game still takes place between your ears. 90% or more has to be emotional or mental. Greg- I love planning ways to play with Dana that keep her guessing as to what will happen next, or to explore some dark taboo. I get off planning elaborate adventures for her down to the smallest detail. I like creating the illusion that this might get out of control or slide-sideways to keep her off balance. Dana - I agree that not knowing is a great thrill and I am always flattered at the lengths of rope Greg will go to to take me. But I have to admit, a really nice, tight, unyielding tie or bondage works for me. I like that I can fight and spend my frustrations on the rope, leather or steal and sometimes when I am struggling to get loose he will take me like I really have no choice, hard and urgent. This gets messy. Sometimes I want to be tightly tied (physical) and used (emotional.) Do you have a couch? I think I need to talk to someone?
What does BDSM mean to you: is it a lifestyle, a diversion, or something else?
Greg - B&D occupies a large part of my waking thoughts...and dreams. I have done a fair amount of B&D photography and designed and marketed several themed t-shirts. So while it is not a life-style, it might be a diversion or something else. I can definitely say, when Dana and I play it is everything. Dana - To me, BDSM means fun, freedom and glorious sex. Where else can you find freedom through submission?
Were lovers accepting of your interest in bondage?
Greg - Some were. Some weren't. You have to respect their wishes and interests or lack thereof. I found that most of the time if they are comfortable enough to experiment and I kept the play simple and made sure they felt safe and the absolute center of attention, they would come back for more. I also learned that women are capable of some pretty graphic fantasies of their own, just ask Dana. (Dana - funny.) Showing them you can be trusted with their safety and pleasure often led to more deviant scripts.
What was your best bondage experience?
Dana - This was after being together for about a year, Greg and I were on vacation at a Jamaican resort that did not mind a lot of things after dark or during the day for that matter. Since we had been dating, Greg helped me explore my exhibitionistic side more and more and Jamacia with all of its topless beaches was a good place to work on it as well as my tan. On our third night on the island, we had been flirting and making each other crazy all day. By the time evening came around, I knew we were going to play for sure. Greg stripped me down to my skimpy thong panty and collared me with a three-inch leather, locking collar. I knew there would be more to come but not what. I soon found myself backed against one of the massive bedposts at the foot of our bed. My bound wrists were tied tight to the post above my head as was my collar. I started to complain and earned a mouth-filling, training-style, ball gag. (Thank you Sub-Shop.) With that stuffed into my mouth and tightly strapped in place all that was coming out of my mouth was drool. As a final touch, an adjustable leg-spreader was strapped to my ankles forcing my legs wide apart and causing the ropes to tighten as they began to support more of my weight. Obviously, we brought along some toys on our trip and one of them was a favorite plug-in vibrator. The problem, Greg found with his plan to tie me up and vibe me is the cord did not reach the outlet. I was really frustrated and pleaded as best I could for him to help me out another way, but he seemed to be on a mission to bring me relief via the vibrator. Then he gets a bright idea to call for an extension cord and leaves me hanging there to make the call to housekeeping. He returns telling me it would take about 10 minutes to arrive. I remember him smiling at me and telling me to not go anywhere for a few minutes. I tried to plead with him and that yielded a mouthful of drool cascading falling onto my breast and below. His response after a few kisses and intimate caresses was to tell me he would mix us some "post-orgasm" drinks while we waited for the fun to begin. He left me bound and gagged and went into the sitting room of our suite where there was a small wet bar to mix whatever. I was going nuts with anticipation. After just a few minutes I heard a knock at the door and knew relief would soon follow. What I then heard caused time to slow down for me, almost to a complete stop. Greg had been speaking to our regular porter, Harold. He asked Harold to please find an outlet near the foot of our bed to plug the extension cord into. I was mortified. I could feel and hear my heart pounding like the caged animal I was. I was trapped and couldn't hide! I was hanging around like a piece of art on the wall. I looked wild-eyed towards the door and then shut my eyes and tried to wish it away. I heard someone take about 4 steps and stop. No more sound except me panting around my gag. He had to see me. I opened my eyes to find our porter standing in the center of the room staring at me. I was tied with my hands above my head, collar leashed to the post and a long silvery line of drool pouring from my lips and cascading off my chin. It took him another three or four seconds to believe what he was seeing. He turned to Greg as is to ask if he was really all right that he was here, seeing this. Greg appeared in the door and told him something about me being in a bind mixing drinks and needing some help with the electric cord. He told Harold if he could find and plug the extension cord into an outlet that would reach the bed we might be able to help this poor girl. I was about a thousand shades of embarrassed and at the same time even more turned on. The porter looked back at me as if to ask if it was OK to be there. I looked down and drooled. Harold slowly started his search for an outlet. Our bed was near the wall and Harold had to get past me to get to search for an outlet. His eyes roamed my body as he approached and then he brushed against my captive body to squeeze past my wide-spread legs. I could see his reflection in the mirror above our dressing table. I was flattered as he seemed distracted as he looked for an outlet. He would look for a second and then back at me. His eyes explored my whole body. I could not cover up at all, I was just tied there for his amusement. After a few moments, and I am betting he already knew where the outlet was, he announced that he found the outlet and plugged in the cord. Greg asked him to plug it into the vibrator on the bed to be sure it worked. He was just trying to prolong my humiliation and determined that Harold would not miss the reason for my bondage by having him plug in and turn on the vibrator to see if it worked. Harold played out the extension cord and walked back past me to get to the foot of the bed. He was now standing less than two feet in front of me with the end of the extension cord in his hand. I could see he had a huge erection which flattered me and put very bad thoughts in my head. I know he was thinking what he would like to do to me. He reached to pick up the vibrator from the middle of the bed. You could imagine the wheels in his head turning as he made the connection as to what the need for the vibrator was. Again, his eyes roamed my body and he seemed particularly amused by my drooling on myself. Having plugged in the vibrator, he turned to Greg for approval. Greg couldn't let this end and asked him if he had turned it on to see if it worked as we didn't want to disappoint our helplessly tied young lady. Harold flashed a conspiratorial smile at me. He made sure the extension cord would more than reach and flicked on the wand. It buzzed to life and he grinned at me, knowing what would soon happen to me. He turned it off and placed it on the bed next to me. Greg had been standing in the doorway to the bedroom watching and directing, now he came over to the foot of the bed and thanked and tipped our porter. Greg told him he hoped we didn't put him to much trouble and would not need to call him again. Our porter, enthusiastically said it was not a problem and to call anytime. Greg took the vibrator from him and flicked it on. He said something about really testing it and before Harold had a chance to leave Greg brought the vibrating wand to her nipple. They were stiff and begging for attention. For me, there seems to be a direct nerve connection between my nipples and a place down below. Just for a second, the vibrator touched my nipple and I moaned and bit into the gag. Drool flowed freely. Greg seemed satisfied it worked and was enjoying my plight immensely. Finally, he told Harold everything seems to be working fine and asked him to let himself out. Harold reluctantly turned and left. When we were alone in the bedroom and before Harold had left our suit, Greg brought the full power of the vibrator to bear on his intended target. I moaned/screamed into the gag as waves and waves of release swept over me. In the end, I was covered in sweat and drenched in drool as I hung limp in my bonds. The embarrassment of being tied like that in front of a stranger and then vibed made this one of the best bondage experiences in my life. The idea of being found like that in front of a stranger is very much part of the mental aspect of bondage that makes even a simple tie so powerful. 90% of the excitement occurred in the grey matter between my ears.
What is the most creative safe word you have ever used?
Mmmph, Mmmph, Mmmph. We never really got too far off a standard, easy to remember safe-word.
What do you feel is most important about the experience of bondage?
Trust. The person being tied up has to know that once tied the dom is there for their enjoyment and safety. BDSM is just an illusion. Also, it is not about power over or abuse of someone. It is about letting someone enjoy the moment and to be totally into it without any responsibilities. It is about letting go.
What is the best advice you would give to someone just starting out with BDSM?
Start simple with a blindfold and a necktie or scarf. Leave the scary leather binders and gags in the closet for a while. Let your partner know you can be trusted. Once they are tied, worship their body. It is all about bringing them satisfaction in a controlled, deliberate way, at a pace that will drive them crazy. And remember 90% of sex and bondage takes place in the mind. With hands tied and blindfolded, think of all the delicious ways you can please and tease your sub. Dana- Watch the refrigerator scene in 9.5 weeks. You'll get the idea. It is the unknown and anticipation that sells B&D play for us.
What is your favorite gear, toy or lingerie item from sub-shop.com and why?
Greg just picked up an ordered of three gags from sub-shop.com. The trainer gag in the story above was what he used on me. I really like it because I know when he pulls that one out it is going to be a really intense and fun time. I also like the way it makes me feel. It is snug and holds you face tight. The ball is pushed deep into my mouth and the devilish strap under the chin ensure my tongue is pinned and that I will be drooling in no time. There just is no escaping this gag. After all, that is the point of good bondage, no escape. You are not going to spit it out. You are going to wear it and drool until he decides otherwise. I have been hinting he needs to get an armbinder. My birthday is coming soon, maybe then.
What is the one sensual fantasy you havenβt lived out yet that you are excited to try?
DANA - I want to be bet and lost over a game of pool or poker. I want to be forcibly taken to pay for my husband's debts, bound and gagged in some bar for 24 hours to serve my new master. Greg - I would like Dana dominated by another woman. Forced to please her and then me. I think Dana would look absolutely divine with a dildo-gag strapped to her face while pleasing another young lady. Tied, gagged, whipped, the works. (Trying to keep this PG on an adult website is kind of hard. No pun intended.) Also, I just learned about Dana's reaction to our porter where she mentioned having some "very bad" thoughts going through her mind with the porter, I might have to see what can be arranged on our next trip. Please excuse me. I need to call for reservations now and to place another order from Sub-Shop for some serious gear.
If you had to be trapped in a tv show for a month, which would you choose and why?
BOTH- Big Bang Theory. It has been on for years so there are plenty of episodes to watch and they really have some great writing on the show.
Is there anything else you would like to share with us such as advice, thoughts or a silly knock-knock jokes? We are all ears and ball gags.
DANA - Advice: Don't leave someone gagged alone. Someone else might come by and take them. Don't do anything that will leave permanent marks. That makes it too easy for the police to come and arrest you. HA-HA. However, I have had some fun trying to explain rope marks on my wrists and ankles to my girlfriend. Greg -once a sub is comfortable with B&D, nothing is worse than not tieing them tight enough that they can't struggle for fear of getting loose. Tie them up tight so they can fight and resist and truly be helpless. But don't cut off the circulation. The more toys the better.
Knock-knock.
Knock-knock.
Knock-knock.
Who is there? I can't come to the door right now. I am a little tied up!
or
Knock -knock.
Who's there?
Cableman.
Who needs cable when I have plenty of rope?!