Meet Raine

Please tell us a little bit about yourself – How would you describe your everyday vanilla life?

In normal, everyday life, I am a boring computer engineer, introvert (except in politics), and all around nerd. When I get home, I am busy raising a young daughter and trying to relax whenever I can. Work keeps me busy and wears me out so when I get home, I am ready for either a nap or a cool down watching movies. Pretty boring stuff.

When did you first realize you were into bondage?

It's hard to put an exact year. Probably when I was about 15 or 16. I had started looking at porn about a year or two earlier and kept encountering pictures of women in bondage. I slowly developed a facination with it and once I turned 18 and had a debit card, I had to try it out.

How you best describe yourself and why? Your choices are: Dominant, Submissive, Switch or Fuzzy Rainbow Unicorn.

Bit of a Switch but leaning heavily to Submissive. My wife is submissive and enjoys being tied up but there are plenty of times that I want to play sub too! But I am still working on getting her to let me be a sub every now and then.

Do you feel that your desire for bondage is more physical or emotional? (please elaborate)

Its a complicated mix of both. On one hand, being able to control or be controlled is a powerful thing. The physicality of it all sends the mind into crazy games and scenarios. For instance, my wife will try to suppress getting turned on, but blindfold her, it takes 1 minute max to get her to the edge. I can be the same way. Stimulation alone will get me turned on but it's slow. Tie my hands up or gag me, and I will already be hard by the time everything is locked on. Sometimes it's sensory deprivation that will get to me, other times it's the feeling of a ball gag that I can't get out. I do have a thing for being forced into stuff myself. After all, I have several fetishes that bondage fits into. I have a cross-dressing fetish (especially ballet clothes, leotards, wedding dresses, etc), a pretty intense chastity fetish (that I am still working on getting the wife to learn about), and a newly developed ABDL fetish. If only people knew...

What does BDSM mean to you: is it a lifestyle, a diversion, or something else?

For us, it's a tool. We use it to enhance what's already there. When we feel like trying different sensations and letting our minds run wild, we will break out that tool. Now there isn't sex for us without some bondage being thrown in.

Were lovers accepting of your interest in bondage?

Not at first. My wife had a bad experience with a former boyfriend who forced bondage on her and took things way too far. That and her Catholic faith which she assumed would not approve. I had to spend years proving to her that it can be better. That as long as trust is there and she understands that all she has to do is say stop (or grunt it), we stop. Simple as that. No arguements, no ignoring, no complaining. We spent lots of time making sure that understanding was there and that I won't let her be abused and ignored again. Now she loves it. Consent and understanding wants is what makes this work.

Please briefly describe your first bondage experience.

My firsts were all self bondage combined with my cross-dressing in private. Just trying out restraints, gags, etc. It was pretty boring stuff because I was scared to let anyone know about this choice of mine. I do remember trying ballet boots too, those were fun.

What was your best bondage experience?

The best is when the wife puts me in bondage. But her favorite was when I tied her up to an office chair. I got a little creative with ropes (engineering skills FTW) and had her legs proped up and tied into place. She couldn't move anything at all. When she climaxed, it was the most intense one I have ever seen her have. Even to this day I don't think I have seen her orgasm that hard. It did take like 20 minutes to undo everything afterwards though.

What is the most creative safe word you have ever used?

We are totally boring about this. Just stop or a grunt if gagged.

What do you feel is most important about the experience of bondage?

I eluded to practicing safe bondage and consent earlier. It really is critical. Otherwise you end up like by wife did and develop a mistrust for it and abandon it. It took years to repair that. Understand your limits and communicate (while you can) what you want to explore and be willing to experiment.

What is the best advice you would give to someone just starting out with BDSM?

Go find one of those fetish checklists and honestly fill it out. That will establish where your limits are. If you are seeing someone, try talking about it. If you develop the interest together it will be so much better. If alone, try it out too! It opens you to all sorts of interesting sensations.

What is your favorite gear, toy or lingerie item from sub-shop.com and why?

My favorite gear is two things. My CB6000 cage is a lot of fun but my absolute favorite is a product Sub-Shop doesn't carry anymore. The lock-down head cage with the bit gag was an huge favorite of mine. I only wish it was lockable. I lost it in one our relocation moves so I don't have it anymore but I miss how it was impossible to get it off or get around it. Again though, we need more lockable stuff. I would love to try out hoods with built in gags and blindfold that are locking. That is what I am eyeing next.

What is the one sensual fantasy you haven’t lived out yet that you are excited to try?

Between getting the wife to join in on enforcing chastity and denial and forcing me to cross-dress. I also have not gotten very far into ABDL but I want to.

If you had to be trapped in a tv show for a month, which would you choose and why?

I don't even watch TV anymore. It's one show per network now it seems. I do have a bunch of classic favorites. I always liked James Bond and thought those awesome since James always gets to have fun with the girls at the end.