Tantric sex is a great addition to any coupleβs sex life. Contrary to popular belief, the general goal of tantric practices is not better sex; instead, the practices look to enlighten its participants. They will allow you to have a better, more intimate connection with your partner. You will be able to awaken and activate your sexual energy. All of this will make you more spiritual and enable you to achieve a higher level of spiritual understanding or so they say, after much practice *wink*
The way you will be able to do this is through breathing control and techniques. In tantric sex, breathing is extremely important (think yoga class, important). By focusing on your breathing, you will be able to relax, stripping your mind of everything else and just being present right where you are. The idea is to create a connection with your partner through breathing; they will take your breaths and you will breathe in theirs as well. This creates intimacy and activates your sexual energy, allowing it to flow freely all over your body (you will probably feel this as a tingling sensation down your back and neck)
At the end of these sessions, the goal is not to achieve an orgasm or have sex. The idea is to focus on your partner. To be present for the waves of arousal and sensuality the practice brings. Having sex and climaxing are simply not part of the tantric aspect. Although sex may be allowed, it isnβt mandatory. So, you shouldnβt βchase the orgasm.β If you do, then it will derail you from focusing on what really matters here, the sensations and intimacy you create with your partner.
If you want to try it then the first thing you should do is create a space to practice tantric sex. This can obviously be your bedroom, so donβt think you need to transform the garage, unless of course you want to create a playroom. *wink* Change the sheets, light up your favorite candles, burn some incense or put some aromatherapy oils, adjust the lighting then add silk and other elements to awaken your senses.
When you are ready, give your body a shake to get rid of the tension. Take a few deep breaths to release all your daily life worries and the things on your mind. This is a time for relaxing and connection. Take a minute. Close your eyes and breathe deeply to put yourself in the right mindset.
The next step is to sit down on the bed or the floor, choose whichever is more comfortable for both of you. The woman should sit on the manβs lap and they will embrace. Ideally, you will both be naked. Skin-to-skin contact is important in this practice but you could also do it with your underwear on. Start by taking deep breaths going down to your belly then gently rock back and forth. To increase the sensation, as you are inhaling and rocking forward, tighten your pelvic muscles and relax them as you exhale, just as if you were doing Kegel exercises. Make eye contact with your partner. Stare into their eyes and focus on them. By this point, the two of you will start to feel the flow of energy generating from this action. And yes, it will probably be intense and it is the point of all this.
If you want to you can share a tantric kiss after staring into each otherβs eyes. You will continue the breathing patterns; as your partner exhales, you will take in his breath and when you do, taking it all in. Kiss slowly and share those breaths as this joins you together as one.
It is not necessary to have sex after this, because the connection is already there. But if you really want to, you can do it. Just remember, an orgasm shouldnβt be your aim, so try to last as long as you can.