New to BDSM? Here’s What You Need to Know

We all have our own secret fantasies, buried deep down inside our mind. We all have that desire we keep hidden from the world. But why? What are we afraid of? Are we afraid that we will be judged for our desire? But don’t the people who will judge us have the very same desires locked up somewhere inside their mind too? The answer is yes.

In most cultures freedom of one’s sexuality is frowned upon. Sex is considered taboo. And where does it lead us? Nowhere. Well, it certainly doesn’t lead us to any healthier life style. If anything, conservative societies are more likely to have increased number of sexual offenders. People who are in touch with their sexual needs and desires have healthier body and mind than who are not.

BDSM gives you a chance to explore yourself, your own world of spiritual and physical desire and get in touch with your inner self. It’s a chance to throw your usual routine out of your life and go for an adventure. BDSM gives you the opportunity to satisfy your inner cravings.

Certain types of erotic and sexual acts and are carried out in BDSM. There two types of participants in a BDSM play, the top and the bottom, also called the dominant and the submissive. There is a misconception about BDSM that BDSM plays are dark and sinister which involves torturing someone until to the end. This is not necessarily true. If you don’t want to receive or provide intense sensation or pain, you don’t have to. You can simply carryout acts like roleplaying and cross-dressing using instruments that don’t provide any pain such as vibrators, dildos, anal plugs etc.

Getting started

Make sure that you are in a comfortable and safe environment. You can’t just jump out of sofa and start a BDSM play. You and your partner(s) will need to get prepared. Make you have proper BDSM gears. Use gears that are designed for and suited to your preferred BDSM plays. Using random gears made for other purposes than BDSM can cause participants harm. Terms and conditions must be discussed among the participants. If any participant has any medical issues then he or she must inform other participants before the play starts. Complete honesty has to be maintained among the participants. An open mind is always necessary.

Don’ forget to have a safe word. Having a safe word is very important. If play gets uncomfortable, then the submissive can use the safe work to inform the top. Yellow and Red are very common safe words in BDSM. Yellow means ‘slow down’ and Red means ‘stop’. Look for non-verbal reactions if submissive is unable to speak during the play.

What are some basic BDSM plays for beginners?

There are many BDSM plays that beginners can start with. Only a few are mentioned here.

Bondage – There are a few ways you can carry out a bondage play. You can tie your partners up, cuff them, strap them down. You just have to put them in a sexual position and make sure that they can’t move. And then you can carry out your sexual acts with them. Pretty hot, isn’t it?

D/s – D/s stand for Dominance and submission. This one is very simple. In D/s top controls bottom’s behaviors or actions. Submissive has to follow top’s every command and do what top wishes for.

SM – SM stands for Sadism and Masochism. In this act, top enjoys delivering pain and bottom enjoys receiving it. The pain can be can be mental or physical or both. Different types of roleplaying can take place such as teacher and student, police and criminal, master and slave, warden and prisoner etc. Acts like spanking, cuffing, choking, flogging is carried out in SM.

These plays combine into each other and has many other forms. As long you keep an open and curious mind you will have wonderful experiences while exploring your inner sensuality and spirituality. So be brave and find out what your body and soul desires. Be free.