Autumn's Bondage 101: Beginner’s Guide to Erotic Domination
Main thing a dominant should be is dominant…oh wow, blew your mind there, I know wink* What I mean is, a dominant should have the ability to be a leader and to command things. And they should do so in an intelligent way and in a form that makes the submissive follow along without any trouble. Once you are in character, that play in power should be easy to come along.
And before you can control someone else, ask yourself if you are good at practicing self-control. After all, how can you expect to be in control of someone if you don’t control yourself? Maybe that is why so many dominants are submissive’s first, who knows. But the point is, a dominant should be in control of themselves and should keep himself/herself in check.
A dominant will also need to be honest. This means they should be truthful and have open discussions about their feelings, expectations, fears, fantasies, boundaries…everything should be straight forward. Don’t tell people what you feel they want to hear, just tell them the truth (good advice in relationships and in life in general, actually)
If you are truthful and honest, your submissive will be able to trust you without any problems. And you know important trust is in a BDSM relationship…or any relationship whatsoever.
And finally, I need to talk about two sides of the same coin: pride and humility. On one hand, you need to be aware of your strong suits and your general capacity to be a good dominant. It’s more than fine to feel proud of your achievements and of your dominance. Just keep in mind you can always learn new things because every experience is a chance to learn something new and enrich your practice. Arrogance is never becoming on absolutely anyone, so find a nice balance between satisfaction and smugness.
A humble dominant will be able to see that sometimes things need to be corrected and that highly encouraged. People are bound to make mistakes because well, they are human after all. The important thing here is to acknowledge those mistakes and learn from them in order to improve. A good dominant will understand they are never finished; it’s always a work in progress.
